Sin — Full webinar with Michael Adamedes

0:00Welcome. This is the fifth presentation in the Spiritual series. In this presentation there are four parts. The first part is about desire and the following three parts are about the three sins. Then we'll follow with question time.

0:18But just before I start, I want us to do a one minute centering exercise and to remind you of the benefits from this exercise. It helps you really stress, it focuses your attention and it teaches you to be in present time.

0:41So spine straight, head erect, eyes gently closed, and absolutely perfectly still. Take your awareness to the sounds around you. The sounds outside the room and the sounds inside the room.

1:22Now bring your awareness to the breath, entering and exiting your nose. And in your own time, take two deep long slow breaths in and out through your nose. Now bring your awareness back to the screen.

2:46Welcome everyone. Basically everything I teach is about guiding you to the experience of no mind. Beyond the trance of the ego personality. And there are two ways of experiencing the state of no mind

3:03or what's commonly called enlightenment. One way is through the heart and the other way is through the mind or more precisely by transcending the mind. The first way is the way of the artist poet

3:19and the other way is the way of the scientist rational thinker. Both are equal to each other. Neither is better than the other. It depends on your predisposition as to which is best for you.

3:33Both require a complete surrender. Jesus is the way of the heart. Buddha is the way of the mind. Both of my parents were devout Christians

3:48and for them faith and acceptance was their way. They both experienced very difficult lives yet their faith remained undiminished. They went through the Second World War.

4:01Lost two children immigrated to Australia from Greece and struggled for many years to bring up their family of five children on one worker's wage. My mother lost her mother when she was two years old.

4:18She had three nervous breakdowns and was admitted to a psychiatric institution and on each occasion was treated with electroconvulsive shock therapy.

4:32And because of her ongoing unresolved pain, she became a prescription medication addict and took medication for 30 years until it eventually burnt out

4:45his stomach lining and wrecked her kidneys and liver. Eventually, at the age of 72, she died of kidney and liver failure. It was tough.

5:00In spite of all her suffering, she was always a sweet loving woman and something in her never gave up and she just kept going.

5:12I believe it was her faith. Faith works. The heart is the way of faith, of devotion. Devotion is in the giving of yourself to another.

5:30A God, guru, even a false guru, it doesn't matter. The transformation comes from your devotion, not from that which you are devoted to. The other is not important.

5:45Your devotion is important. For me, when I was young, I believe the same as my parents. I believed in Jesus that there was a God figure

5:57that loved us and ultimately protected us. But once I went to school and especially after going to university, I thought religion and spirituality was superstition. I could see many flaws with the church

6:13and religious teachings that further convinced me that the religious spiritual way wasn't for me. Science in the rational mind made more sense. And even if I couldn't explain the meaning of life,

6:29I still had more meaning. It still had more meaning than what I thought at the time was spiritual religious nonsense. It was at the age of 29 while traveling overseas

6:44that I met someone who was permanently living in the state of no mind and realized that this transcendent spiritual state had some reality. On returning to Australia,

6:58I was overwhelmed with issues of my own survival, having a kid dealing with a relationship that was breaking down, finding a job, and dealing with my own unresolved pain from childhood.

7:12And attempting to deal with my issues, and in my own intertherapy, and eventually I became a psychotherapist, this led me to exploring the wounded mind and the way it was structured and conditioned.

7:27It was many years later to my surprise and delight that I discovered this approach of understanding how the mind, distracted and conditioned had been extensively studied and discussed by Buddha

7:43some 2,500 years ago. I'm not a Buddhist, but I was impressed by his clarity and the methodology for dealing with the conditioned mind. So I paid particular attention whenever I came across any of his work,

8:01but I was also careful to be aware of the source of the information that purported to be from Buddha. As I could see, some of the translators didn't have an understanding of the material of the information,

8:17and that a cultural bias and a dumbing down of the information it crept in. But in spite of those reservations, much of the information holds universal truth, so that 2,500 years later,

8:35it's still relevant. Siddhartha Gautama, commonly called the Buddha, was born in 563 BC or 480 BC. There's some controversy,

8:50yes, that the exact year of his birth. He was born in present day in Nepal. The word Buddha is from the Sanskrit, a combination of 2 words,

8:59Buddha awakening, and the past suffix tah, giving you Buddha meaning the awakened. So Buddha is a description of a space, not a name of a person.

9:14You could make a strong case that Buddha was one of the most influential people in all of human history. His teachings are said to have influenced Jesus, and for a time almost all of India, Pakistan, China, and Southeast Asia was Buddhist.

9:36Buddha was one of the first great psychologists and saw that almost every adult in civilised society is unhappy. He stated that it is the condition of desire that creates this unhappiness misery.

9:54He even went so far as to say that it's the human condition to live in misery. Desire means that right now you are not okay. Your fulfillment is always in the future. It's never here and now.

10:12The projection of your fulfillment somewhere into the future is desire. You cannot desire in the present. In the present you can only be. It means that you're not here.

10:27The present moment is the only door into existence. The present moment is the only way of experiencing happiness or peace. The past and the future are not doors. They are walls.

10:42Reality exists in the present moment, and it is reality that supports you. But you keep projecting yourself into the past or future. We can also sometimes falsely believe that we've given up desire

10:58because we've given up the desire for material success and that we seek peace and happiness. This is called spiritual desire. Desire is not concerned with an object,

11:14whether you desire wealth or whether you desire enlightenment. It makes no difference. Desiring is the habit of wanting. First you desire wealth, prestige, power.

11:26Now you desire God, peace, happiness. You think you are transformed, but your habit of desiring remains. You remain the same.

11:39So you cannot call any desire spiritual. Desire as such is worldly. Desire is the world. There is no such thing as spiritual desire.

11:55Reality, the present, is the only thing that sustains you. But you keep moving into the past or future into imagination. So how do I obtain the state of no desire? When I can't desire or aim towards it,

12:19I can't go towards no desire. So how do I get there? Firstly, it's to understand that every desire leads to disappointment.

12:30Many years ago, I desired to go to university and thought that it would make me into a wise man and turn me into a gentleman. That I would enter into a community of people seeking the truth.

12:43Because that's what my father thought. I eventually completed my university degree. I knew more things. Most of those things were irrelevant to my life.

12:54But finding a community of people seeking the truth. Becoming a wise man and feeling better about myself. Not really. University was still a powerful experience.

13:07And I'm glad I did it. But I no longer thought of going to university as important. And at the end of that experience, I still had self-esteem issues to resolve.

13:22Technically speaking, it's not that every desire leads to unhappiness. But rather, the unhappiness I thought I would resolve when I achieved that desire didn't occur.

13:38I'm still left with that unhappiness, even though I've achieved the desire. And then for a period of time, I'm left exposed without the illusion

13:48that the fulfillment of that desire will make me happy. Now I feel the rawness of my unhappiness, my aloneness, my emptiness. And as quickly as I can,

14:00I look for another desire to pull me out of my unhappiness. University didn't give me fulfillment happiness. Then I looked for a career in business to prove that I was smart, powerful and desirable.

14:17That didn't work either. Eventually, when enough desires are fulfilled without the expected happiness occurring, something changes within you, within me.

14:32I stopped searching for things outside of myself to make me feel better. And I stop and accept what I have. And then I have the chance of entering the state of no desire.

14:46But it requires me to experience those desires first. I want to read a quote from Osho, one of my heroes. And he says, when you have searched every nook and corner of desiring, suddenly you stop,

15:04in that stopping is the happening. And it always, and it's always there. That happening is always waiting for you, just waiting to meet you in the present.

15:17But you are never in the present. You are always dreaming. Reality, the present sustains you. I want to talk about sin then.

15:31The traditional understanding of sin that Buddha talks. The traditional understanding of sin is a transgression of divine law. But for Buddha, he defines sin as anything that caused unhappiness.

15:45And the sole cause of unhappiness sin was desire as we have just discussed. But Buddha went further in describing desire and gave three distinctions about the nature of desire.

16:00He called them the three sins. And they are attachment, aversion, and ignorance. Attachment is a category. It ranges from wanting something to being addicted to it.

16:19The greatest attachment we have is to our pleasure. We are biologically programmed to be pain-avoiders and pleasure seekers. A young child learns very quickly what it can touch

16:34and what it can't touch. It puts its hand on a hot stove. It burns. It picks up a soft toy.

16:43It feels good. That's all well and good as it's part of us learning to live in a material world. The trouble begins when we seek pleasure to avoid pain.

16:57I eat a piece of chocolate because it makes me feel better. I have a glass of wine because I'm stressed and I want to relax. Occasionally that's okay.

17:13It's good to feel better. It's good to let go of the stress. But if that's a regular way of me dealing with my stress and it's a regular way of for me to relax by having a glass of wine or two,

17:29then it's not okay. Everything needs to be in balance. That is what Buddha calls the middle path, the middle way. Pleasure is a freedom song.

17:42Pleasure comes about as a consequence of doing the right thing of being in flow. But if pleasure is used as a way of escaping stress, anxiety and boredom, then it's become attachment.

17:58Another form of attachment is sex. Sex when it's in balance is a wonderful way to experience love and pleasure with another. But sex can become another form of attachment,

18:15wanting it, fantasizing about it, being driven purely by your hormones. You can ask yourself, do I need to have sex to prove that I'm loved? Does being a good lover mean that I'm desirable and a better person? Do I need to experience an orgasm to feel happy and alive?

18:46All of these are signs that sex is becoming an attachment. Say very positive good things can work against us because we become addicted to them. Another form of attachment is wealth.

19:05Wealth is probably the single most important measure in our society of self-worth, social status and influence. For many people, what they own equates to how important they feel they are if they suddenly lost all their wealth in some catastrophe.

19:30Most people would usually fall into depression and think they are nothing and their life has no meaning. We have become a society of human havings, not human beings. An affirmation to neutralise that thought is I have enough,

19:59I do enough, I am enough. Another attachment is glamour. In particular the way you look. For many people, what you look like is more important than who you are.

20:18They become obsessed with their personal appearance, physical fitness, their weight, their hair, their height and how they dress. It's wonderful to look good, to be fit and healthy, but don't make it an issue that stresses you and defines you.

20:38You are not your physical body. Your physical body is a part of you and you need to love and respect it. Material possessions, your physical appearance and what you do do not define you. You are something far greater, far more magnificent.

21:09And far beyond that, the flip side to attachment is aversion. What are the things I avoid? The most significant avoidance is pain. I am not saying you should be a masochist, but when things go wrong,

21:32then you need to face them and understand why that is happening. For instance, just simple things like why am I feeling this heaviness in my stomach? After I have had a disagreement with someone. Why am I experiencing headaches?

21:58Why do I come down with a cold each winter? Why did I accidentally cut my hand while I was chopping the onions? Why are those things happening to my body? And what do they mean?

22:13Physical illness or pain is more than just external triggers, germs or an accident. You have an underlying psychology that is intimately connected to every muscle, bone, organ and cellular body. Fear and anxiety is the psychological aspect of physical pain. You can't allow yourself to not do something because you know it is good for you.

22:46Because you feel anxious or afraid. Another way of saying that is I won't stop myself from doing what I know is good for me, just because I feel anxious or afraid. For example, you don't want to go to the gym because you're feeling unfit and overweight.

23:06You feel embarrassed and intimidated by the other gym members. Then you need to devise a plan to get over your avoidance, your aversion. Because in time it will kill you. That sounds dramatic.

23:22But that's the way most people die. It's by a gradual erosion of their self-confidence and their health over a long period of time. It's not like a bullet to the head that kills you instantly, but it's like being in a snowstorm with a million little cuts.

23:39Your body needs you to get fit and healthy and stay fit and healthy. You need to be authentic and resolve anything that abuses your spirit. You have to face your fears and go through them. This is a big deal.

23:57The next one is power. Power is a big topic. I run weekend workshops and love and power. But basically it's about claiming your own authority,

24:07asking for what you want, being able to say no, and realizing no one takes your power. You give it away by not believing in yourself. Power is being authentic.

24:22Not afraid to be you. But that assumes you know what you want and you know what's important for you. The next aversion is money. Money. Our society is money obsessed.

24:37We get so many mixed messages about money. On one hand we hear it's good to be successful. It's great to have financial wealth. It gives you prestige and you deserve it.

24:48On the other hand it's bad, it's greedy, it's egotistical. You're taking from others. Christian conditioning says that it's as easy for a rich person as easy for a rich man to enter heaven as it is for a camel

25:03to pass through the eye of a needle. In other words it's impossible. Because in some way to become rich a man must have done it immorally and taken from others.

25:15Therefore he will never be able to enter the kingdom of heaven. Yes there are many people who play a zero-sum game and take from others without providing a fair exchange. But for most of the time this idea is nonsense.

25:32Most of the wealth being created today is through the creation of value. In other words the pie is being made larger. So even if people have a small slice of the pie in comparison to others that slice is still larger than it was before.

25:50If you have issues with money then you will find it difficult to ask for a pay rise or ask someone to pay you for your services. Another issue for people is to have their self-esteem hooked into money. I have low self-esteem, I have low value therefore I can't value my time

26:11or my contribution. To understand it money is an exchange of value and an exchange of energy. It is emotionally and morally neutral. It is the projection of the ego mind that gives meaning to money.

26:29The third of Buddha's sins is ignorance. It's not about understanding how things work. It's about understanding how you work yourself knowledge. It doesn't matter how much my mother loves me.

26:49I would never give her the scalpel to operate on my brain. Love good intentions are not enough. You need knowledge and skills. Not having self-knowledge and the corresponding life skills can be catastrophic

27:07regarding your health, wealth and relationships. One of the greatest disconnects people have is with their emotions. Most people are emotionally detached, meaning they have lost layers of sensitivity to their feeling state, to their emotions.

27:26This is a survival strategy from childhood. I have discussed this topic and other examples of ignorance in great detail in other presentations. So I'll only summarize them in this presentation.

27:42But the goal is to become more emotionally sensitive, for example, to understand why you become upset when someone says no to you. Why you feel bad if you make a mistake. Why do you get angry if someone short changes you?

28:02There are many other things you need to look at when you feel upset. Another understanding is the way you think. How does your mind work? Why do you hold certain beliefs?

28:19The sort of things people tend to have issues with are around such topics as religion. Someone is a different religion, a Christian, a Jew, Muslim, sexual orientation, gay, lesbians, bisexuals, run stories. We have things with money, wealth, poor people, unemployed people, social security.

28:41There's a whole lot of story going on around government, corruption, over-regulation, things with police authority. It's okay to have an opinion about things, but it's only a problem when that opinion is emotionally charged.

28:59Behavior is usually another thing most people have a low level of understanding. The usual way for people to think about it is that their behavior is a result of someone else's actions, and that they are justified in feeling and acting the way they do. For example, in a relationship with my partner, she criticized me for getting to buy the avocados,

29:23as she needed them for dinner, and I said I would buy them on the way home from work. But I forgot, and I'm annoyed with her, for not understanding how busy I am at work, and she has more time than I do, and she could have easily have bought the avocados herself. On the surface, it's a practical thing of organizing errands and getting things done.

29:46But on the deeper level, from my perspective, it could be that I'm doing too much at work, and I'm overextending myself, because I'm trying to prove myself. From her perspective, for getting the avocados means that I don't value her and that other things are more important than our relationship.

30:10All behavior that results in an upset has both a surface reason and a deeper psychological reason. Understanding your deeper psychological reason is key here. Also looking at things where you may be living with habits, with food, exercise, social media work, how much of that behavior is habitual,

30:39how resourceful is it, does it support you. Health is another area where there's a lot of misunderstanding. We are being programmed to give our health decisions away to our side experts. I deal with this topic in great detail in another presentation.

30:59But to summarize, illness is a combination of an external physiological trigger and an underlying psychological predisposition. There are seven physiological triggers. Paracites, toxins, radiation, injury, nutritional deficiency,

31:24where there's seasons and the environment. And five psychological predispositions. Psychosomatic, psychological emotional conditioning, stress, biorethms, and what I call karmic.

31:41For instance, if you pick up a parasite adjourn and have no psychological predisposition, then you would probably go through a 24-hour cold and throw off the parasite. But if you picked up a parasite adjourn and have a psychological predisposition like stress and you've been working long hours under a lot of pressure,

32:03then you're highly likely to become ill and come down with an illness that could last for weeks. So to sum up, a sin for Buddha was any thought-world or behaviour that caused unhappiness. And the behaviour that created all the unhappiness for humanity was desire. The projection of your fulfillment somewhere into the future.

32:31And desire was made up of three sins, three things, attachment, then hooked into it, addicted, aversion, pushing it away, and ignorance. Not understanding how things work. And I want to finish with the very famous Buddhist saying,

32:52which is, may all beings be happy. The next webinar will be presented at 7pm on Tuesday 13th October. It's the sixth presentation in this virtual series. It's titled, The Four Levels of Consciousness.

33:17If you think someone would benefit from these presentations, you're welcome to invite them to watch. You can join the members group for $5 a month and watch all the past presentations and all the future presentations.

33:33Tonight's presentation will be uploaded to the website by tomorrow evening. And I would like to thank Radion Sokolov for Marketing, Production and Web Design and Aaron McFarland for Camera Sound and Lights. And to remind you,

33:56three or three of those. It always works out. And now let's go to questions. Thank you for watching.

34:20Hi everyone. Thanks for watching. Thanks for hanging around. There was a much shorter presentation this evening, but I'd covered all the major parts of attachment and desire at a version and ignorance and all that. I just fixed my lens up here.

34:44So I've changed next presentation. Initially, I had it scheduled to be the four levels of consciousness, but I've thought it through. And the next one I'm going to do is on-death and dying. So that's some really fantastic subject to understand and to look at.

35:09And I'm really enjoying putting these presentations together, even though the production is a major learning experience because I have to go back and do a whole lot of research and just get up to speed on some areas of the topic. And in particular, the one on attachment or the one on desire was a real eye opener. That's been really great. So the next presentation on 13th of October will be about death and dying. And now I'm available to answer questions and I'm just opening the questions and.

35:53And then, Kat has asked, well, husband recently had unexpected brain surgery for a malignant brain chamber. Do you think I may have done something wrong in my life of this to happen to our family. I partly blame myself for this. Well, his brain chamber is really to do with his consciousness.

36:17If you contributed in any way, it may be that you created stress in the family. You may have just had more stress. You were anxious and you would dump in your stress and anxiety out into the family space. So that would be the only way I could imagine that you would contribute in some way to his brain chamber.

36:40If he had a brain chamber, 100% it's to do with him. He is the creator of his reality. He is the creative force within his life. You are not someone else's creative force.

36:57You, you know, you could contribute to the environment being a lot more stressful or. There being some misunderstanding, but, but then the no circumstances. Would you have created the brain chamber. And so it's not you.

37:17Sometimes people say to me, Oh, wow, because you did this or said that I feel upset. And I used to have a kind of a little bit of a cheeky reply back to them. And I would say, thank you for acknowledging me for being so powerful that I create your reality for you. So they don't create my reality.

37:42And you haven't created his reality. You may have added extra stress, but that would be the worst thing that could have happened. And that's not that bad. It's life goes on.

37:53And he chose to have you as his partner. And that means something about him anyway. No, it's his manifestation. It's not your manifestation.

38:04Thanks to the question anonymous. Hi, Michael. Is it bad to manifest as it is about the future desire? No, look, it's not bad to manifest.

38:15And I may not have been clear in that presentation. But the way in which you overcome desire is by living through those desires. So it's actually important for you if you wish to manifest things to become wealthy, to become successful to allow that to happen. That's the method.

38:39That method is called tantra. But that's also the method which means you live through the desire. And living through the desire consciously, the power of the desire goes. So it really is important for you to pursue your manifestations if that's what you want.

39:03And there'll be a whole story around I need these things. I want to be successful. I want to have a house. I want to brand you car.

39:09I want a relationship. I want a different job. I want to be able to travel overseas. All these things are to do with supposedly making me happy.

39:20But what you eventually find out is it's great to have those experiences. And there is pleasure from those experiences. And you learn from those experiences. But ultimately, they don't make you happy.

39:37Something you need to be happy. And something you need to let go and recognize the things that are out of balance in you. Because ultimately it's that thing that's out of balance in you that's resolved that will make you happy. Happy.

39:55Happy means be a piece with yourself. Thank you. Thank you. Margaret.

40:01Are you familiar with Abraham Hicks? What is your view on it? Yes, I am familiar with Abraham Hicks. And it's another methodology.

40:11Look, Abraham Hicks is very accurate with the mechanism of manifestation. So if you have a desire and you want to become successful, I have a desire to become successful. I have a desire to become wealthy. And in the process of becoming successful and wealthy, the idea was that I would develop greater self esteem.

40:37I would feel more a piece with myself. But with that additional fame or that additional wealth, it's been great. But it hasn't brought that sense of peace. That sense of peace ultimately has only come through me. Chilling out and letting go of wanting things that I couldn't let go of wanting things until I had those things and realize those things didn't give me what I thought they would give me.

41:13So Abraham Hicks, in my opinion, is great if you want to learn the techniques of manifestation. And it's very powerful. And the thing with manifestation is you have to hold it in your feeling state. You have to act as though you already have it.

41:35And by acting as though you already have it, you create a resonance which magnetizes it to you. Because the key to manifestation is like a track like if you want wealth, then you have to act as though you are wealthy. The simplest way to act as though you're wealthy is to be grateful. Because grateful gratitude says I acknowledge that I have received already. It's an acknowledgement of receiving.

42:07So that already says I've got it. So you can fake it till you make it. You can fake a feeling of resonance of being grateful and okay. And initially you fake it and eventually becomes genuine. And then when it does become genuine, then you're truly magnetizing to you in a way which we call congruent, which means completely consistently. And you don't have a time when you're manifesting it and then you're pushing it away as most people are doing. I wanted I wanted I wanted I wanted.

42:41I'm grateful I'm grateful I'm grateful I forget about it later on. I'm disappointed because I haven't got it. So while I'm grateful I'm getting it and while I'm disappointed I'm pushing it away. So it's a good thing to try. If you get calling towards go for it. Try everything and trust yourself. Thank you. So Linda have you heard that to send is to act without love. If so, what do you feel this means. Are there any ways you can recommend healing from sinful actions. Yes, I totally agree that to send is to act without love. Yes, absolutely the Hebrew definition of sin is to act without love.

43:29definition of sin is to do anything because of happiness. And what do you feel this means other ways you can recommend. Well, what it means is that acting without love. Love is really the underlying force of the universe. If you act without love. you are acting outside of the universal truth universal law universal force call it like your will. And that in turn, we'll put you out of balance and it will create a massive internal pain. The healing from sinful actions.

44:16The best way is to be in your integrity. Just be in your integrity is the best way to heal from sinful actions. You ask yourself. Would I like other people to do that to me. And if you think I don't I wouldn't feel good if someone did that to me. Then don't you do it to someone else. End the story. Don't over think it. Just chill a bit on it. Yes, you're here to go for what you want to understand your needs. And then to pursue those needs. So a lot of those needs are programmed by society and ultimately they're not in alignment with your own true nature.

45:02But you won't know that until you test it until you try it. So it's worth you going for it and trying things that you have a feeling for. But in the process of doing that. Ask yourself. My behavior has to be in a way that if people were doing that to me, I would feel okay about it. And I call that being in your integrity. Thank you for the question anonymous. Is there any emotion behind when a three year old is still walking on tivy toes. They could be. I think they could be like three year olds.

45:48Could be doing that because it just feels good. And some sometimes they're doing it because you know, as I said, feels good and they're just trying to be tall or something. But there could be another meaning behind it. But I would have to ask that three year old question. It's not something just purely from that that I could say there is something going on. But I would ignore it. I would just love the three year old and not making an issue because we three year olds, they go through phases and phases don't last long and they pass quite quickly. So I wouldn't worry about it.

46:29So Celia, thank you Michael as always. What happens when you have a small rejection that you were not there than fully aware you wanted and half wanted, but then triggers a feeling of being stung numb. Hard to pinpoint the cause of feeling like a dark cloud coming over me. Best thing to do any tips dealing with it. It's a very complicated question. What happens when you have a small rejection that you are not even fully aware of you want it fully aware that you want it and half wanted, but then triggers a feeling of being stung. With that, you just sit quietly and just feel where the stung numbness is, then the dark cloud and just observe it and don't take an issue of it identify with it just see it as being a symptom of some unresolved thing in your unconscious and is coming to the surface.

47:36All you do. All you do is just watch it and recognize that there's a symptom coming up from your unconscious and don't worry about it too much and try and just see it as something that's coming and going don't give it too much meaning. There's something going on. There is an issue, but it's not precise enough. It's not clear enough to really jump in and find it. It's still a little bit hazy. So just keep looking at it and being aware of it and not worrying about it.

48:16Thank you. You're enormous. Can you fake it? You have a relationship. Can you fake it or a soul partner too? That's a bit different. You don't like, in a relationship I always believe it's got to be 100% integrity and you have long term relationships and you have short term relationships. Purely for fun and for learning and that's okay as long as you're straight up front and you're not pretending this is forever but rather this relationship is for now.

48:54So in that instance you have to be totally 100% in integrity. So faking it in a relationship is not telling lies about your commitment to the relationship or telling lies or faking or pretending that you love someone. That's not okay. Either in a short term relationship or a soul partner. For a soul partner. If you're going to fake it, all I'm saying is that you act with gratitude even if you don't feel gratitude. You can sometimes act positive even though you don't feel positive. You can be committed to an outcome even though sometimes you'll your intent vacillates but with regard to how you feel in a relationship.

49:50If it's a casual relationship you can be quite upfront pretty straightforward. If it's a soul partner and a long term relationship and you're having reservations about your connection and you're not quite certain then I would be a little circumspect. I wouldn't be saying things that I love you and I want to be with you when I don't think that but I wouldn't necessarily start expressing all my doubts as well and suddenly, say look I'm not really sure if I want to be in this relationship because you don't really want to say I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship until you really are ready to move on. I'm not sure spend by the time thinking it's rude first and possibly getting some external advice. It's gone on for a long period of time then you may talk to your partner and say look I'm just having problems and I sometimes doubt myself and I'm not sure where I'm going in this relationship that's a freak out for your partner.

51:00But if it has gone on for a long time then you've really got to say something about it. But before I said something about it I would spend some time trying to work it out first and I would certainly go and get out some advice because when I have that deep and meaningful conversation with the soul partner I want to have least try to come to some understanding within myself. Thank you for the question. Another anonymous how do you get over attachment to six to prove you are to prove you are loved. That is well first of all just keep having all the six you want don't don't stop you know just be aware that when I'm having six I'm really don't have the same thing to your partner about it but that I am. I'm needing it in order to feel good about myself and I need it for them to love me at the same time I'd be thinking in my mind you know why do I think that what is going on not necessarily while I'm having six but certainly afterwards and why am I.

52:14needing it what is it represent why do I need this person's validation in order for me to feel okay why can't I validate myself and often you need to look at the belief patterns of your parents and in particular your mother. What did she believe about herself and I'm sure that in some way will reflect why you have a need in you and that's the process but you know you still have the six and. You realize you have the six have the six and you still don't feel necessarily good about yourself even though it may have released some tension and you do feel a warmth from it there's still something that it can give you because it's beyond six and that's a journey of self discovery. Sorry bad sentence structure yes no problems thanks to Celia anonymous I mean can you manifest or fake you have a life partner or a soul partner sorry read it wrong.

53:24Can you manifest or fake. What you can say is I'm so grateful for all the love that I have in my life I'm so grateful for all the people who love me I am surrounded by people who love and support me my heart is full of love and. So what you're saying is if you're faking it what you're doing is you're giving gratitude from what you would get with a life partner or a soul partner what you would get from a life partner or a soul partner is. love and connection so what you then do is start to look at the love and connection you already receive from others around you and be grateful for it and even though it may only represent a small percentage of the love that you desire the fact that you focus on that little bit of love that little bit of connection that's there it will have the effect of magnetizing it at the same time.

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