Programming of Mind — Full webinar with Michael Adamedes

0:00Hi everyone, welcome to this presentation. And just before we get started, I'd like to do some basic housekeeping. So if you haven't already done so,

0:14can you please turn off your phone? And in this particular presentation, it's really important to have a pen and paper because I'm going to ask you to do some exercises.

0:27So if you don't already have a pen and paper, see if you can get something right now while I'm just explaining the beginning of it and you won't miss anything.

0:38You'll probably have 30 to 60 seconds, but definitely a pen and paper, at least two sheets of paper, three is even better. And a glass of water if you need to,

0:49just to refresh yourself. And we're going to go from now, seven o'clock through to eight o'clock and I'll ask you the full attention if you can give me your attention

1:02for that period of time. But just before I start, I'd like to do a centering exercise. And for those who are still looking for the paper,

1:15I keep doing that and for the others, we'll do the centering exercise. It'll only take about 30, 40 seconds. So spine straight, head erect,

1:26eyes gently closed, absolutely perfectly still. Just put everything down, don't hold anything for the moment. And take in a deep breath and just side out.

1:47And now absolutely still. You take your awareness to the sounds around you. The sound, the sounds inside of the room. And then take your awareness to sounds

2:26that are outside of the room. Can hear any traffic noises, other people outside, anything else that may be happening? And bring your attention to your breathing

3:02and do three really long slow breaths through the nose in through the nose, out through the nose, in your own time. And finish on the next breath and return your attention to the screen.

3:44And welcome everyone. And welcome to tonight's presentation. And it's about the programmed mind. And this is part of a series of seven presentations

3:57that I'm going to give on the psychological aspect of self. And with these seven, I'm basically dealing with variations on how your mind becomes programmed

4:14and how you can release it. In the previous presentation, it was about the structure of the mind and how the mind works.

4:24In this presentation, it's actually to do with how your program. So we're going to be looking at how the mind in general is programmed, identifying the ways

4:35in which your mind is programmed. And then using affirmations to neutralize those that programming. And also just a logistical thing.

4:50For some people, that they've had some difficulty with the screens. I'm not going to be changing between the PowerPoint presentation and between me talking because it's sometimes

5:03it's affected people's bandwidth. So I'm going to keep talking all the time in my screen and keep the PowerPoint presentation running until the end when I'm answering questions.

5:18So this presentation will go for about 45 minutes. And then we'll have 15 minutes of questioning. If you are on a computer, you can expand the image that I of me in the corner

5:32and you can make that larger. And you can be looking at both the PowerPoint presentation in myself. And if you're on a phone,

5:39you can just click between the PowerPoint presentation being the main image on the screen to me being the main image on the screen. So you control it rather than have me change it

5:52and it may affect the different people's bandwidth. So this program's mind, what is the program mind? And the way I think of it is,

6:06it's your awareness, your program, the awareness. And this program, the awareness, you can call it the ego, your mind or your personality. And it's really looking at,

6:22what is an unprogrammed awareness? Can we have an unprogrammed awareness? Is it possible to be aware without going through a whole thinking process?

6:34And if I was going to describe what does awareness look like or feel like, probably the best way to describe it would be daydream. I can remember a time when I must have been about five or six.

6:49I was at home in the middle of the day with my mother. And there was just the two of us. And the sun was straining through a window and there was a fly that had been trapped in the room.

7:02And it was bumping up against the glass in the sun light as in the sunshine. And I'm sitting there and I'm just watching this fly looking at the sun shining through the window.

7:16And I kind of went into a trance and I was feeling very, very still, very calm. And very felt very pleasant. And other times at school

7:29when the teacher was talking, I'd be looking at the window or other times when I'm out in nature. So if I'm thinking of an unprogrammed awareness,

7:42then I'd be thinking of really the daydreaming state where I'm just looking at something without having a whole process going on in my mind. And then you might ask, why is this state important?

7:56Why is this such a big deal? And this is what meditation attempts to do. And this is what when people talk about present time awareness.

8:06This is what they're talking about. And you could think of the mind, the ego, the personality. It's almost like a computer program.

8:16And we're being bombarded with information all the time. And we're constantly thinking about these things. And it's almost like we get a virus in our thinking process. We start to feel anxious.

8:29We overthink things. And we're worrying. We don't know when to stop. And so if you could enter into this unprogrammed awareness,

8:42just this pure awareness, then it's almost like resetting the computer, rebooting the computer. You've switched it off.

8:50You've allowed it to reboot and start a fresh. So it really has a great thing for letting go of anxiety. It's a great thing for just feeling calm and clearer going. The other thing is that all creativity

9:12comes from a dis unprogrammed awareness. Creativity doesn't come through thinking. You will download the idea. And then from that downloaded idea,

9:25you will start to rationalize to understand well, what's going on? What does, what's this idea now? How can I express it?

9:36How can I formulate it? How can I put this idea into some practical sort of process? And it's, you use the mind to work with the idea, but the idea isn't created through the mind

9:53or the ego with a personality. It comes from this unprogrammed awareness through this sense of centeredness. And by entering that place of unprogrammed awareness,

10:06it also enables you to answer such important and basic questions as who are you? Who are you really? And why are you here?

10:18And where are you going? And there is a purpose in another series of seminars I'm going to present on spirituality. I will attempt to answer those questions.

10:33Whereas in this series, this series is on the psychology, the way the minds programmed, how to understand and recognize it, and how to step outside of it.

10:44And so to get a little bit more understanding of the mind, we need to go back into history and look at how have we started as human beings. As humans on planet earth,

10:59we've been here for approximately 10,000 generations. And for the majority of that time, we've been hunters and gatherers, no matter people who would move from different places

11:13in the country following the game, following the seasons and being able to live. And this was the primary way in which we conducted ourselves as humans

11:27for the majority of our existence. And what influenced these people? What had they think? Now, one of the most basic things that influenced them

11:39was the sun, just the sun rising in the morning and setting in the evening. And they would work their day around the sun, the sun rise sunset.

11:49You'd get up in the morning, the sun's there, the lights there. You'd be doing the things you needed to do in the morning, getting ready with the family and the kids and whatever. And then it may be appropriate to go out hunting

12:02or it may be hanging around chilling out. Because one of the most remarkable things about nomadic hunter gatherers was they had tremendous amount of leisure time.

12:13And unlike popular culture, which makes it kind of a brutalized, difficult existence, they actually had a quite a bountiful and a very easy existence. If you think of present time nomadic hunter gatherers,

12:33it would be every genius prior to European settlement. And when you look at them, you realize, wow, their lives are quite special. There was a time when Susie and I, my wife,

12:48we lived on the central coast of New South Wales. And we had a 22 acre property there, only about six months ago, because of only just recently moved to Cool and Beach

13:01in Queensland. And six months ago, we were living on this property that backed onto the Airemba State Forest. And that was, I don't know, 100,000 hectares huge.

13:15And on my occasion, we invited someone who, very much of Bush's tuckerman and understood Aboriginal customs and ways. And he took us on a kind of an adventure trip

13:34into the country, into the forest. It was part of a course I was running. And he took us along a thing called a song line. And a song line was basically a trail

13:50through the bush that the average in his would walk a couple of times a year. And they would, over the many, many years, hundreds of groups had walked that way.

14:04And how he could pick it was because along this track, there were all these food plants growing. And what would happen is they'd be walking along, they'd need to stop and take a nature break,

14:18have a poop drop of seeds and things. And over hundreds of years, literally, the entire trail was an avenue of food plants and the decimal plants and plants of them to use

14:33for spears and clothing. And so they were walking through, and he would say, they're walking through their supermarket.

14:40And their supermarket was this bush. And this bush had been cultivated purely by people walking along over several thousand years. And it was abundant and rich.

14:53And where we lived near the coast, people with the average and he said, at one period of time, would be out in the plains and take a period of time, maybe a month

15:05of traveling from there to the ocean, to tugger lakes and be fishing and doing all these things. And he said that when the yellow cockatoos came out on in the place they were, where they lived,

15:20they would know it was time to start walking. They would start walking along these trails and there'd be 30, 40 people to be old people, young people, kids, warriors, young women.

15:32And they'd be walking as a clan, as a family group and eventually arriving at the beach, at the lakes. And while they were walking, they would be singing songs. And they'd be singing songs to entertain themselves.

15:48They'd be singing songs to teach the kids. And they would be singing about the birds in the area, about the plants in the area and what was going on. And so this was a very rich sort of existence.

16:03And the majority of the time, they were chilling out. They were hunting in a desperate sort of way. It was actually a very abundant lifestyle. It only became desperate if, you know,

16:20at the time of colonization, at the time of the empire in Europe, when these nomadic people were kicked off their ancestral lands, which were rich and abundant and put into, you know, very desolate and poor sort of land.

16:39But for the majority of time, it was something that really worked. And so their thinking was like, in the moment, here, what's actually happening? What are they going to eat?

16:51They'd be having a lot of fun. They would not have a job and go working. There was no such thing as money. No one owned the land.

17:01The land belonged to everyone. And they would spend time preparing for ceremonies, at various times in their lives. They'd be performing ceremonies that represented certain spiritual beliefs

17:17that they had. And their lives were spent quite chilled. And they operated from what I call what I turn the right brain. They're feeling creative, mystical side.

17:34And they were quite intuitive and telepathic. And so this is the nature of who we are before this overlay of civilization and consumerism came in. And so the mind was a lot quieter.

17:53Life was far more still. We were very present and relaxed. It was a much, much easier life. And then about 500 generations ago, we became farmers living in towns and villages.

18:11This is the time, it's about 10,000 years ago, which is 500 generations. We started cultivating the land, domesticating animals. And then started settling down and forming towns and villages. This is when the ownership of land came about.

18:30But not only did we have the ownership of land, we also had the ownership of people. This is the time of empire. When one group of people would conquer another people and then turn them into slaves of the conquerors.

18:47And this is where society started to stratify. And we had situations where people were in positions of privilege. And a lot of other people were just working for that privilege group. And it was also at the time of standing armies.

19:05Because once we could cultivate and produce a surplus, that surplus would mostly go to the elite. And the elite had standing armies in order to produce more land, more empire to conquer. If they didn't have standing armies, then they had systems to inscript people and put them

19:32into armies. And they could feed them why they were going to war or whatever. And there was no universal education. An elite may have been educated.

19:43But the majority of people were in educators. So their mind was still ripe by brain, which is feeling. their mind was mystical, creative. There was dance, music.

19:56There was still a sense of connection to the cycles of nature, to the cycles of life. Now we come to ourselves. And we are in the time of consumers. And this is living in cities and urban areas.

20:15And we've only been like this for three generations. And it really, the consumer mind and the consumer mentality didn't really start until after World War II in the 1950s. And here we are for each generation later.

20:31And what we've become is the ultimate specialists. We purchase our needs from others. We're not someone who's a generalist who can go out and build this house and produce these food and work or do their own clothing and all this sort of stuff.

20:49And so we're specialists. And we are just in one particular category and other people do these other things. There's also universal education. So universal education has taught us to be left brain analytical, planning, solution, orientated.

21:08And so it's changed the natural structure of our mind. In fact, we ultimately need both. We need the analytical and we need the intuitive. Previous generations were very big on the intuitive and quite small on the analytical.

21:26And we've gone the opposite way. We're really large on the analytical and very small on the intuitive. But not only there, we have a constant stream of mental stimulation. Advertising, I can just walk from my place along a boardwalk down to the shopping centre

21:46along the beach. And you would think you wouldn't see much advertising. But trucks are going past buses are going past. And there's billboards once I get down to the shopping centre.

21:58Get about looking on TV or my phone or magazine. We're constantly bombarded with messages to buy, buy, buy. And then there's the media giving us information about the state of the world or what they want us to believe about the state of the world.

22:17And entertainment, we're giving, we're getting these stories from outside that aren't too entertainers. But at the same time, often in those stories, I'm teaching us about what we should believe and what reality is and what's going on.

22:34And very much the entertainment that we're consuming is being fed to us in order to keep us focused on a certain way of thinking. And what we've lost now is the ability to be still. We just can't be still most of us.

22:56And people are going for their phone and they're picking up their phone and what's going on the phone and what's happening here. And it's like, hang on a minute, let it go. I go to dinner, the phone rings and someone has to answer the phone.

23:08But I was there having dinner with you spending my time with you. Why is this separate person out there more important? But this has become the convention. And we can't be still.

23:20So what's actually occurred for most of us today is we are addicts. We are thinking addicts. And we have become addicted to the dialogue in our brain. And this dialogue in our brain has actually disconnected us.

23:42It's a neurosis. It's a backward step. Yes, you need the ability to think out a little bit. Yes, you need the ability to plan.

23:51But you only need to do that when there is a specific purpose for that plan. You don't need to be thinking and working out what's happening in life. And so there's a general principle. What consumes your mind controls your life.

24:09So what you spend time thinking about is the thing that's ultimately going to run your life. If you spend your time problem solving, then all you're going to see is problems. And you've got to be caught in problems.

24:23You've got to switch off. You've just got to zone out. You know, going, playing sport, having fun with your friends. Switching off is really important and better if it's in nature and better if it's with

24:39people and it's not involving electronic communication in some way. And if you're tall, if your mind, if you're being tall, there's not enough for everybody. Then you're going to be caught in this sense of there isn't enough. But that's the story.

24:57There is what you believe there to be. And if you're being constantly presented with scarcity and stories of the way, it's going to skew your whole perspective and your whole sense of programming and what you believe. And then if you're told you have to improve yourself and become better, that's not

25:18the same. You're not, you do need to learn. You do need to understand things, develop skills, things like that, particularly if you're working towards an outcome.

25:30But you don't actually have to improve yourself. Who you are is already perfect. That's the starting point. You are already whole and complete.

25:40Now there are things to learn and achieve if that's what you desire. But that's not because there exists a state of deficiency in you. The other thing people get caught up in is time. There's not enough time.

25:57And we're running around trying to deal with all these time constraints and time issues. So how our mind is working now? We are basically working with the mind of a mind addict. And the three basic viruses that sit in our mind that keep us going around and running circles

26:28are what the first one is. I am unworthy. When I say I'm worthy, what I mean is it's a category. And this category of unworthy is one of two things.

26:50I'm worthy. Oh, sorry guys. I've just made a mistake here. And that's the kind of back to I'm worthy.

27:01I'm kind of line up the screen here. Is this two subcategories? One is I have no value and the other one is I'm incapable. And so we're programmed to think we're unworthy.

27:20So if you're caught with the idea of having no value, the conversation will be I'm not good enough. I really have no value. I'm I'm unlovable.

27:33I'm fat. I'm bad. There's I procrastinate. I don't have enough energy.

27:41I don't have enough enthusiasm. There'll be a story that's invalidating you. And that's your internal critic and well, drop it. Let it go.

27:52It's not true. It's just a programming. You've got to move beyond that. The other one is incapable.

27:59In cable says, I can't do it. I can't do it because I'm not smart enough. I can't do it because I don't have enough skills or I don't have enough support. I don't have enough money.

28:14I don't have enough knowledge. I don't have enough connections. I'm just missing out on the very necessary things in order to make my life succeed. That's again a story.

28:27It's not the reality of it. This is another program. And then these feelings of inferiority. I'm just, you know, I give up and I can't do it.

28:39The other one is I'm unsafe. And unsafe is I'm in danger. I could be heard physically or emotionally. And it's a feeling that life out there is dangerous.

28:57And that the greatest danger most people feel is a financial danger. And it's like, well, I have enough to pay the bills. So I have enough for them all each. The car registration, medical insurance, school fees, all these sort of things.

29:11And particularly at the time now, when the economy is looking very shaky and probably is going to go through those types. And so a lot of people anxiety around being unsafe will come up. And the feelings that leaves is a feeling of being anxious and of being paranoid.

29:36And so I have had a psychotherapy practice for nearly 40 years. And I often counsel people who suffer from anxiety and anxiety is always a fundamental self sense of being unsafe. And invariably it comes from family.

29:57It's a learnt response. The next one is the third one is on the loan. It's a sense of disconnection. And very easy to get disconnected when you're constantly in this

30:12overload of stimulus. And you feel disconnected from people and family. And there's a sense of I don't have any meaning. There's no meaning in my life.

30:24It's all boring. It's all the same. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing's really happening.

30:29I'm alone. And so the feeling is of being alone or being depressed. And all depression, the fundamental underlying pattern is a sense of of loneliness.

30:41And so and invariably I would say 90% of a deep loneliness has come from mother in some way. This is not to say your mother neglected you or didn't love you, but probably felt that way about herself.

31:02And through the love connection with your mother, you probably have taken on her own sense of loneliness, loneliness. Or they could have been an intervention or a difficulty of

31:18birth and so the bonding process didn't occur at that time. Again, no fault of your mother's. It's just the circumstances at the time. And she may have done the absolute best she could,

31:31but it just didn't work for some reason. And then trying to compensate for that helps to some extent. But the initial disconnect can last for a long time. Because if a disconnect occurs in a very critical time in your life,

31:50there's a part of you that won't trust to receive. So it's no longer someone else loving you or wanting you, some part of you shuts down and just won't let it in. So there's a whole psychology around a alone.

32:06But the patent transfer is very much linked to mother, because mother is the primary foundation and connection in this particular life. And so here we have these three fears of the personality. One is unworthy, the other one is unsafe and alone.

32:30And then there are compensatory behaviors. So people who run the underlying pattern of being unworthy are tempting to be perfect. They're attempting to be always good, to always have it work absolutely perfectly all the time. And it's wonderful to have things efficient and beautiful and glamorous,

32:56but not if it's a compensation for an inadequacy. And invariably, if it is a compensation, it's to do with un-urbiness. For unsafe, it's to do with control. And it's like I've got to control things.

33:13An example would be if someone was invited to a party and before they would go to the party, they would have to know when does it start? When does it finish? What are we wearing?

33:28What's there to eat? Who's going to be there? What's the party about? And how do I get back home?

33:35Before I'll even walk out the door. And that's because I just really need to know everything, because I can't allow myself to step into an unknown situation, because it brings up too much anxiety.

33:48And that anxiety sits within you, not outside of you. Whereas my son, who's quite, he's 41 now. But when he was younger, he's one of the few people I've met in my life. He would have zero fear.

34:05And he could just get up and go anywhere. Someone said, oh, look, there's a party on. It starts at eight o'clock. Once you turn up.

34:14And so he just turns up at eight o'clock. It just happens to be a formal party. He turns up shorts, t-shirts, and thongs. No way would he be embarrassed.

34:23Oh, wow, this is great. And then he's so open and friendly. People would come and say, well, look, let me get you a jacket.

34:31He's a pair of trousers. Oh, we don't have any shoes. He said, oh, I'll walk around in my solvents. And next thing, he would be the life of the party.

34:40He just doesn't have any fear around that. He can step into an unknown. And so there is no sense of control around that aspect of his life.

34:53He has other things. He has to work out. But not this particular. And then alone is the thing about compulsiveness.

35:03Aloneness is we can't stop. We're constantly thinking. We're on the go all the time. This is the core element of drug addiction.

35:16Drug addiction fundamentally is a compulsive behavior. And it's to do with a deep alumnus. And invariably, these people who are suffering from that are highly sensitive and they're just feeling this deep pain

35:33and they get lost in it. But I want to work out your sense of what's your primal, negative belief. And where does that come from?

35:44And this is a little bit of a trick. There are blocks to working out in negative beliefs. Firstly, you may not want to do it. And if you don't want to do it, well, you don't have to do it.

35:56Obviously not. But then people get caught up with, I can't do it. I don't know how to do it. I can't remember.

36:06And really, what you have to do is just say to yourself, I can do this. And I have a standard affirmation. And maybe you could repeat this after me.

36:18Take a deep breath. I know the answer to everything about myself. And it's safe to allow this answer into my awareness. I want to know the answer.

36:53As I mentioned earlier, I've been a therapist for nearly 40 years. And what I've learned is I've learned how to ask questions, because everyone who comes to see me, if I can ask the right

37:08questions, and we're working with it, the issues and the problems that are seeing they reveal themselves. So you really do have the answers to yourself. And why things are occurring in a certain way?

37:23It's just a question of focusing and thinking and getting a little bit deeper with it. And what usually happens is you haven't gone far after this questioning.

37:32You haven't asked enough questions. And say, for instance, if you said I can't do it, then you say, well, why can't you do it? And you say, well, I can't do it because I don't know how.

37:43Well, then why don't you know how? Well, I don't know how, because I'm scared. Well, then why are you scared to do it? Well, I'm scared because I might make a mistake.

37:53Well, why do you think you might make a mistake? Because I'm stupid. And then you'll find, wow, your belief down there is you believe you're stupid.

38:03So the belief is you're not good enough. And you get caught up in that. Sometimes going deeper into your thinking feels uncomfortable. I don't want to think that it's too uncomfortable.

38:15But you must focus on the things that feel uncomfortable, because their flags, their signs, to this is something that hasn't been dealt with. And whatever hasn't been dealt with in time

38:30will come up and create a problem for you. And sometimes people don't want to think about negative things in the past because they think it may influence them in the present.

38:41It will only influence you in the present if you fall into it and believe it. But if you see this as a mechanism for understanding yourself, it will help release, it'll help free you from it.

38:55And sometimes it's such a familiar thought that you think you already know it and you just skip by it. So anyway, let's work through this and let's see if we can work out your primal negative belief.

39:09I'm going to do it for the whole group of ones. And if you have that PDF handout that was sent out to you, the one on primal negative beliefs,

39:26then you need to turn to page three and we can work on it. If you don't have anything, just a pen and paper is enough. You don't need it.

39:35The handout just makes it a little bit easier. That's all that you don't need it. So your primal negative belief is the first one is a negative thought I have about myself is.

39:45When you do this, be spontaneous. If you're not sure about something, imagine it. Just make it up. See what it could be.

39:55Now brainstorm, play a game. I'm going to throw a couple of ideas and maybe one or two of them will apply to you or something completely different.

40:04Just go quickly with it. Don't think too much. Be spontaneous and use your imagination. A negative thought I have about myself is,

40:14I'm too pushy. A negative thought I have about myself is I'm not focused enough. Another negative thought I have about myself is I waste time.

40:24Another negative thought I have about myself is, I'm not disciplined enough. I don't know. It could be a negative thought I have about myself

40:33is I'm too fat. I'm not, I don't exercise enough. So whatever the negative thought is, write something down. Just put one thing down.

40:42I could be completely happy in life, except for the thought that I haven't found my soulmate. Well, I have found my soulmate. But it could be some people think they haven't found their soulmate.

40:53They haven't found the right partner. I could be completely happy in life, but I just don't have enough money. I could be completely happy in life,

41:01but I'm just not fit and strong enough. I could be completely happy in life, except that I'm not skilled enough. I'm not strong enough.

41:12Put something down. The third one is, the reason some people don't like me is because I am, and so you've got to think, why do you think some people may not like it?

41:28I'm too pushy. I don't step out of my comfort zone and engage people. I'm too aggressive. I talk too much.

41:40I'm a busybody. I want to know what's going on. So what are some of the reasons you think, or one of the reasons you think someone doesn't like you?

41:51Just write it there. Number four, the things that I don't like about other people is the thing I don't like about other people is that too frightened. They won't go for it.

42:10They're weak. They give up. They spend too much time talking about something rather than doing it.

42:18These are just ideas I'm throwing out. Something I like about someone's negative all the time. Well, they expect other people to do it for them. They won't get up and initiate something themselves.

42:33So what's something I don't like about other people? Play a game. Write it down. The next one, continuing on that list,

42:42the reason I don't like myself sometimes is because I am not tall enough, not strong enough, not good looking enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, too critical, whatever.

43:06So what's something? What's the thought you have about yourself? You don't like yourself. Some reason because I am.

43:17Write it down. Persevere with this. If you go into it and you get it, it's going to make a big difference. The thing I like or disliked about my mother is,

43:34which should be disliked. The thing I dislike or disliked in past things about my mother is. And what is something she made past now?

43:45But what's something in the past you didn't like about your mother? Well, the thing I didn't like about my mother was I thought she was too bossy. The other thing I didn't like about my mother

43:54was the way she spoke. She had this fisherman's lifetime of voice with a ton of voice weird. It almost felt hysterical all the time.

44:02And so the other thing I didn't like about my mother was there were times when she would get depressed. And so what are the things I didn't like about my mother? Write that down.

44:12One thing I didn't like about as a child could be. Right now you could be great if your mom. Or it could be right now too. But she's just giving up on life and now she's withdrawn

44:25from everything. Number seven, it's the same for dad. I think I dislike or disliked about my father is too bossy, too pushy.

44:36She was always telling me what to do. He wanted to be a teacher, a school teacher, and he was always telling me how to do things, showing me things. And sometimes that was great a lot of times

44:48that was like, he's doing it because he wants to be a school teacher. But my father was a very gentle man. And some fathers were quite aggressive, quite loud,

45:01quite frightening, something about my father. I didn't like about my father. He's a number eight. The most negative thought I have about myself is what

45:14don't I like about myself? And think about one of those three categories. Either I'm worthy, I'm unsafe, or I'm alone. Now in very, we find that all three apply

45:29at different times. If the one that comes up right now, and for me, consistently, the one that I had to deal with for most of my life is I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough.

45:43I don't, you know, I've come from the wrong side of the track. So my parents were poor, my own migrants. They were educated. It was all that story story story and letting all that go.

45:56And so I had a very strong judgment about myself and a very strong judgment about my family and a strong judgment about where I came from and all these sort of things.

46:09And so unworthy was a big deal. And so you may have that or you could be unsafe. You know, I don't think I'm going to survive or make it. And I'm really worried about the future.

46:21And things could all turn south for me. If that could be unsafe or it's alert, I just feel, you know, people are there to support me. So I'm going to quickly work through some affirmations

46:36because we want to turn this around. None of these beliefs that I've mentioned about you or your parents or about other people are real. They're just a perspective.

46:47And they're part of a program conditioning. The best thing you can have is no thoughts about it. People are people. You're not making decisions.

46:58But if you are making decisions about other people, then at least look at the best side of another person and recognize how wonderful and special they are, rather than, you know, how they're missing out.

47:15So the unworthy one, these are the affirmations. So I'm just going to quick see the affirmations. I'm going to read them through slowly. And I know they're on screen.

47:33And I want to read them because it's so easy to go over them. And when you say them, you need a little bit of passion. And you've got to get a feel for it. You know, you can say, I am good enough.

47:47I believe in myself. For me, for many years, the most powerful one was, I value my time. I value my contribution.

47:56I value myself. I value myself. I can ask for people to pay. I can, you know, respect the time

48:06that I'm putting into something. I value myself. If I value myself, I'll attract value to me. And I have enough.

48:16I do enough. I am enough. And for women, I would have you say, I am a beautiful, desirable, radiant,

48:29woman. And most women who are watching this, I highly recommend that that be your affirmation. At least one of them.

48:41And for the men, I am a powerful, resourceful, wise man. You could change it to I am a powerful, resourceful, compassionate man. It depends what feels right for you.

48:56But powerful and resourceful is the masculine archetype. And for women, it's beautiful and radiant. And you could change it if you don't want to be desirable. You can be, I am beautiful, loving and radiant.

49:13I want beautiful, compassionate and radiant. But desirable was wonderful. I can always do it. And I can do it easily.

49:25Pick one of those. I have these affirmations on my website. And even more of these, and you could go to the website and download them.

49:34They're a PDF document. Very easy to get. You don't need to write all these down. The other one is unsafe if I'm unsafe.

49:45Again, the affirmation would be, I am always safe, regardless of what I think of you. It's safe to let go. I am always okay, even if I don't feel okay.

50:01You have to define yourself as being okay. If someone came to see me and they were suffering from asthma, I would never label them as an astromatic. I would say this is a healthy person

50:16who on occasion experiences the symptoms of asthma. But you always define yourself as being okay. You are okay. You make a choice to be okay, even if you're feeling sick.

50:30You're okay, even if I feel okay. You are okay. This is a symptom that's coming. Not that I am the symptom.

50:38And now I don't feel okay. Therefore, I'm not okay. No, you are okay. You will always be okay.

50:43It's a choice you make. Make the choice of being okay. And you may still need to stick some remedy for feeling unwell.

50:53But that does not define the inner nature of who you are. And I always have enough money. If you start to feel lack of, I always have enough time.

51:04I'm running at the time. I'm getting too old. I won't have enough time to finish this project. What's going on?

51:09All these sort of things. I'm going to miss the boat, whatever the story is. And also I want to be here. I want to be here.

51:15I want to be here in this life. I deserve to be here. I belong. It's okay.

51:20I want to be here. I want to be here. Most people who feel unsafe want to escape from here. They don't want to be here.

51:26I want to be somewhere else. No, I'm going to be here. Make here, okay. And then from here, I can go anywhere I want.

51:33And I live in a safe, loving and abundant world. I trust life and the processes of life. These are some of the affirmations you could use if you're feeling unsafe.

51:46Very powerful. It's always good to work with just one affirmation at a time. And if you get that affirmation right, if you work out the negative belief in you get the information,

51:57it's almost instantaneous. And it's a fit in shifting the pattern for me. Last one is alone. And the antidote for that is I'm surrounded by people

52:11who love and support me. I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. Start believing that and then you'll start seeing that. You know, fake it until you make it.

52:23Start pretending that and it will start to become reality. It will become reality. And I'm always loved and wanted, regardless of what I think and feel.

52:32You know, and no one cares about me. Don't talk, don't talk, don't talk. No, I'm always loved and wanted, regardless of what I think and feel.

52:39I'm feeling really bad at the moment, but really I am loved and wanted. Start doing that and it will change it. I and the other one are really powerful ones.

52:48I love them, they love me. I love them, they love me. If I'm in a situation where there's a breakdown in communication and I think they don't get where I'm at

52:59or I don't get where they're at, at least create this bond in your mind that you know, they're not the enemy. Or they're a crack the bond.

53:07I love them, they love me. Neutralizing idea that we're different. And we can't get across the connection and we can make a connection.

53:21I belong here, I belong with these people. I belong with my family. I'm part of my family, regardless of whether they want me or not, I belong, I'm part of this.

53:31If you believe you're part of something, then you will become part of something. I don't require other people's permission in order for me to be here or for me to feel I belong.

53:43I always look for the highest good in all situations. So I'm looking for what's the teach me? The universe ultimately is here for a better, I'm always looking for the highest good.

54:00I can see the spirit in all people. Everyone is a manifestation of something higher. And if I can see the name, then it will be in me. And until I can see it in me, it works both ways.

54:17As I see it in them, I'll see it more in me, as I see it more in me, I'll see it in me. So by seeing it in there, I'm feeding it back to me. I am grateful for my life.

54:27I'm grateful for all your abundance of my life. I'm grateful. Thank you, thank you. And then one for affirmation.

54:35I live a fabulous, fantastic. And fortunate life. And so these are affirmations. And if you want to get a complete list,

54:47go to my website, Michael at themeddys.com. On the homepage, you'll see extras, click on extras, go down to the bottom of that list, hit affirmations for personal negative beliefs.

54:59And there's the PDF and you can have it. And so your positive affirmation, positive belief, you would write it in that handout. If you had it, I'm surrounded by people who love and support me.

55:14I'm always safe. They love me, I love them. I always have enough. I value myself.

55:25I value my time, I value my contribution. These are ideas on it. Here are some positive affirmations that I mentioned earlier. So we can play with that.

55:35And I'm very proud I've written this wonderful book with a friend of mine, Rob Pryor. It's called Say hello to happiness. And it has a lot of these affirmations

55:48and a lot more information that I haven't had chance to discuss. You can go on the website and purchase it. It's normally $29.95. I'm selling it for $25.

55:59And a free delivery in Australia, if you're able to seize, we'll subsidize the delivery. It's only $4.95 extra for delivery. So go to www.michaelobermeas.com

56:14and this is all part of the psychological series that I'm presenting. I've already done two, the nature of the mine programming of mine.

56:24Next one is in two weeks time. It is called present time awareness. I don't have to believe every thought I think. And then I've got four more every two weeks.

56:36I'm going to do seven in the psychological series. Then I'll do a further seven in the spiritual series. I haven't left a lot of time for questions. Unfortunately, but we'll do something right now.

56:50So for questions, I just need to stop sharing the screen and go to questions and answers and open the questions. And I can't see any at the moment.

57:07So that may be quite simple if there are no questions. Then life is really easy maybe. So away we go.

57:20So that's easy. There's no questions then. I'll win to your next course of line. The next clip will allow you

57:30it's going to be in two weeks time. If I get irritated when people keep saying things repeatedly, that's because you're either a visual or an auditory and people who keep hearing the same thing,

57:50don't like it. So what you find is that if you're a kinesthetic, you like repeating it because you get a good feeling from repeating it.

58:09Just going to understand, I have a different modality of thinking. That's the reason why they keep repeating things. And the reason why you get irritated is that you've already heard it before.

58:21You must be an auditory person. It's OK. It's just a type of who they are. I wouldn't worry about it.

58:29The other one is how long does it take for an affirmation to take effect? Look, an affirmation, if its precise, will be instantaneous.

58:40So if you know the target and you hit it with the affirmation, it's done instantly. Most of the time we don't get the issue precisely enough. And so you use a machine-yone approach.

58:53And so you're firing different affirmations and you're constantly repeating affirmations, hoping to get the underlying belief pattern. But if you can identify the belief pattern,

59:03the affirmation only needs to be said once. And it will neutralize it. Most of the time, you don't get the, you don't get it. And so that's why you don't get the underlying pattern.

59:17That's why you're going to keep repeating it. I don't like it when people are nagging. I agree. I don't like it when people are nagging someone saying,

59:27if people are nagging, it's because they're basically unsafe. And they're trying to convince you to do something so that they can feel better. So then it's just a question of either walking away

59:41or then not getting that you're listening. And so you've got to, you've just got to go past it. That's the real answer to that. My thoughts are very intense.

59:58Yes, someone says, when I have a hot bath, my thoughts are very intense. Well, that's true because when you have a hot bath, watch what you're basically doing is you're entering

60:09into your unconscious. You're starting to access thoughts that have been repressed. If you stay with the bathing over several weeks or several months, those intense thoughts

60:22dissipate, they're just a detoxing process. You just need to do it more often. I would recommend if you're getting a lot of intense thoughts that you bath every second or third day for three or four weeks.

60:38And it won't take long before all those intense thoughts will pass. It's just something unresolved in you. Someone else is saying, what do you think of the

60:48active approach for dealing with thoughts and emotions? I'm not sure completely sure of what the active approach is, but my feeling is just try it and see what you think. I haven't actually tried it.

61:04So, but give it a go and see what you think. That's all I can say. The next question is, what do you think about that one? How do I deal with family members who think they're so much better

61:20than I am correcting me and aren't interested in my opinion? Stop listening to them. Just walk away. It's their issues.

61:31It's not your issues. They're trying to fix you. And somehow you've gotten into this parent-child relationship with them and they're trying to fix you

61:40because they think you can't do it on your own. So, it's tricky. Stop listening to them. Don't tell them too much about things that are significant for you.

61:55And just move on. There's too many variables in that situation. I really need to know more. But as a general thing,

62:06you stop listening to them and move on. If someone worries constantly, is this a belief in being alone? It can be. If someone worries constantly, it can be a belief in being alone.

62:18Often it's a belief in being unsafe. And that's unsafe. And then beneath that, it can be alone. It can be both.

62:28Yes, they could be. The feeling unsafe in some way. What about whining? What fear is that?

62:44Usually it's unsafe. It's unsafe. If someone's whining, winching, they're feeling unsafe. And they're trying to dissipate their stress.

62:54And they're trying to convince someone to do something about it or to listen to them. What's the best way to quiet the mind before going to bed? If you've got a bath, go and have a bath for 15, 20 minutes before

63:09an hour before you go to bed. And then spend 10, 15 minutes relaxing. That may not be possible. The other way to do is switch off stimulation.

63:21Like don't look at your phone. Don't look at the computer. Don't get involved with TV and just let it all settle. You've got to calm down.

63:30Sometimes reading a book is good. Something that is non-stimulating. Just an easy gentle, relaxed, free to help you. I find that I really enjoy computer magazines and I really love

63:45four-wheel drive magazines. And so often I'll sit and read a story about the latest four-wheel drive. And that just really relaxes me. And then I can switch on something like that.

63:56And then I've got something. How should I best respond to a very negative partner? That's difficult. That's difficult.

64:08There's so many variables in that. It's a break down and communication between the two of you. It really is a break down and a pull. And there's somewhere that your partner doesn't feel loved or heard themselves.

64:24And now they're emptying out their pain and their difficulty onto you. It's the sort of thing where you really need advice. You need to go beyond. If they're very negative,

64:37in part you're hooking into it for something to do. If you're in part something to do with them. It's a complicated question that one. If I was panicked with heart palpitations and dizziness,

64:52when we looked at, say, what does this show? Is this trauma? It shows that suffering from anxiety, one of the best forms,

65:01one of the best things to deal with anxiety is to get physical. Bands are good. Massage is good. Going for long walks, jumping in the ocean.

65:14You're too anxious. The chances are you've probably picked up this anxiety from your mother. And it's a family pattern. But you're suffering from anxiety, I would say.

65:24My eight-year-old daughter, this is another question. My eight-year-old daughter was separated from her mother at birth. And now it's extreme separation, anxiety.

65:34Can affirmations work in this situation? Not with an eight-year-old daughter. Yes, yes. Everything helps.

65:42Everything works. The main thing is you've got to keep supporting her, loving her, telling her how wonderful she is.

65:53It's repetition, repetition, repetition. It's a process that will take six to 12 months, if you, but you and your wife, or you and her mother are both focused on supporting her

66:08and telling her she's loved and wanted and, are there for her. She's still young enough at eight to turn it around. But it's a process and it's not something it's going to turn around

66:21just with a few affirmations. It's a consistent process over an extended period of time, six to 12 months. And don't give up and it can work.

66:30And yes, the part, giving her a lot of positive feedback is important. That's the affirmations. Also spending all of the time with her is important.

66:42And probably the last question we're just running out of time. Sorry, guys. If you believe that you suffer from all three of the fears of the personality, then how do you prioritize affirmations

66:56for the best results? Yes, you probably do suffer from all three. The trick would be to pick one that you think is the most important and work on one at a time.

67:08If you work on three at once, three issues at once, you dissipate the energy. You need to work on one, one, one, one, one, one. Bring down the emotional temperature on one.

67:22It'll feel a little bit better. You might focus on one for a week. And then the next week, you may decide, I'll focus on another one.

67:29If you do that, then you're able to change again. It's repetition. It's repetition. And that's stay focused to one at a time, at least each week.

67:45I think we're pretty well, there's still some more questions. We're pretty close to the time we've gone out of the time. What I will do in another, we've been planning in another presentation

68:03to take a lot of the unanswered questions. And then pick them out and answer them. But I have made a commitment to finish later, clock with gone past day to clock.

68:16I really need to finish. And thank you all for coming and being part of it. The next one is going to be in two weeks' time. And that is the 19th of May.

68:35It's 7pm. And it'll be about present time awareness. And these presentations are being recorded. And for the time being there on my website,

68:51you can go to the website and you can listen to one if you've missed one. Thank you for being part of all this. And an attending and hope to catch up with you another time.

69:08So thank you very much. And catch up with another time and breathe through your nose. So see you next time. Thank you.