Mother — Full webinar with Michael Adamedes

0:00Welcome everyone. Welcome to the presentation for the evening and this is the fifth presentation in the psychological series and this evening I'm going to be talking about two things. One is mother and the other one is

0:17feminine archetypes and if you want to watch any of the previous presentations go to my website Michael at Medis.com and they're all recorded and this presentation this evening will be available tomorrow night and you're

0:34more than welcome to invite anyone you think may be interested in this presentation series to join me and also to look at the previous ones. But just before we start just some basic housekeeping please turn off your phones, have a

0:53notebook or pen glass of water and we're going to be going till about eight o'clock and if you need to get anything now should chance because we're going to do a meditation for just under 60 seconds for a minute. So let's

1:09just center ourselves before I commence. Spine straight, head erect, eyes gently closed and perfectly still. Breathing through your nose and take your awareness to the sounds around you. So the sounds outside of the room, any traffic,

2:01people, anything going on outside and take your awareness to the sounds in the room. A conditioning clock and the sound of my voice and the sound of your breath and take two deep long slow breaths in and out through your nose

3:09in your own time and then return your attention back to the screen and welcome everyone and the two parts tonight. Seminar the first one is Mubber and this is a big deal for me because this is the major reason why I got

3:57into therapy and I was really dealing with the pain of my mother and when I was a child my mother had three nervous breakdowns. Today we would call them bipolar events. When I was 9, 11, and 13 years of age and the poor thing she

4:20just couldn't coat you know five kids. She was in a country that she didn't really feel. She could relate to her, couldn't speak English and her backgrounds Greek and came to Australia in 1947, straight after the Second World War and she was you know a stranger in a

4:38strange land and a very sweet person. He is my mother at 18 years of age and she was born in on the 1st of January 1924 and so this probably was about 19, 42 or something like that and you know my mother's pain was considerable because she had lost her

5:08mother when she was two years of age when she was a young woman. She lost her first baby. She was in the refugee camps during the Second World War in Gaza and then was given a baby adopted a baby and it also died with a very young age less than a year old and both of them died because of

5:34malnutrition the conditions were very bad and my mother just had all this loss in her life and she never really came to groups with it and she didn't know she didn't have the mechanisms she didn't know what was going on and so mother is really significant because mother

5:54is for most people the person you have spent the longest time with and that's the greatest influence and you know being a little bit poetic here we can say mother she is our first love she's the person we shared the agony and ecstasy of birth she nurtured us and gave us life from her breast

6:18and for some she's smud that they're unrestricted us she loved us and disappeared over us her relationship with father has left a profound effect on all of our relationships until we become aware mother represents the feminine within our psyche and so

6:40mother is the most for most people is the most influential person you've spent nine months in her womb and the most critical developmental stage and for most people fortunately the womb experience is a positive one but it's when you're born and that process of being born

7:00and the separation from mother and coming into life as an individual that's when things usually start to go awry and so how did that experience you know occur and what what took place and the earlier it is in your life the most significant because the later on in your life you have other

7:25events to modify the effect of a new event whereas when it's for the very first time there's nothing to modify and so its impact can be quite strong and so early in your childhood during the womb experience at the time of birth the first few months after birth they're significant

7:49and so mother is a big deal and the way mother of fiction is in four different ways and so the first way is the present relationship with your mother so how am I relating to my mother now the second one is called the role modeling effect how has my mother's personality

8:12affected me the third one is the relationship that mother had with father because that sets up a pattern of my expectation around relationships and fundamentally the relationship with God it's not the spiritual beliefs but God represents the nature of existence the way the world presents to me

8:38and in the first year of my life my mother represents the whole of my universe and the existence that I've been born into so talking through in more detail the present time relationship with your mother can be represented in three different ways firstly is cut off in that I don't feel

9:01connected to my mother she's there I'm not communicating with her we don't see eye to eye we don't understand what's going on and we just miss each other now mother may have passed away and it's how you feel towards your mother even though your mother's gone

9:22it's like I still don't feel as though I've connected to her or my mother's past and now as I think about my mother I'm filled weird love and gratitude and greater understanding but you know I'm it's a matter of recognizing where the situation is there's no

9:40blame there's no wrong your mother did not in a sense you know this she didn't she's not to blame it's she is a victim of her circumstances and this is the life she was born into and these were the strengths and weaknesses that she had

10:01and she did the absolute best that she could and often she couldn't do any more than what she did and so it means that I could all these incompletions but it me and my mother even though I may have a pretense that it's all okay all we could be in conflict

10:18and we're just upset with each other and we see each other and we really can't communicate the third way is gratitude and gratitude is I'm grateful for this person who I call my mother and I'm blessed to have had this person in my life

10:36and regardless of how my mother behaves and who she is it's really up to me as to my relationship with my mother in the sense that I may not necessarily be able to communicate with her and she may not understand why I'm thinking and what I believe

10:56but I don't have to carry an angst about that and I can just move on that's the ultimate goal in this to understand the dynamic between myself and my mother and to move myself out of being meshed caught up in the pain caught up in the drama

11:16and being able to stand beside her and even if she succumbs to a whole other pain and emotion and story I don't have to be caught up in that and so that's the first thing the present time relationship and the ideal scenario is

11:34that we're okay with each other the second one is the role modeling effect and so as it's saying how has my mother's personality influenced my personality and the first component of that is compliance I've become

11:55the same as my mother I have similar feelings on I'm emotional I'm shut down I get annoyed I get frustrated whatever takes place in the in but also can be very loving and very caring and be nurturing and very understanding and sensitive

12:15there's many wonderful things about mother and then I might say look I'm never going to be like my mother I will never be that person I want to be someone else and so I'm resisting and so whether you are the same as your mother or whether you're

12:31revealing from your mother you're still caught up in the path you're reacting and you're not really free of the role modeling effect until you become emotionally neutral and so um you know I can still

12:51be like my mother or be like my father enjoying certain foods having a certain sensitivity but it's also unique to my personality there is no sense of reacting and there is no sense of being conditioned by that personality and kind of locked in to a certain way of thinking and

13:11behaving and so we want to reach a point in our psyche where we appreciate where we've come from and who our mother represents and who she is but we stand our own individual self and so and eventually neutral the third way in which

13:35mother influences me and my psyche is the relationship with father and it's like you know how did my mother and father get on with each other and here's a photo of my father my mother and me when I was six months of age and so this was probably

13:59taken in 1950 sometime around January February and how did they get on how did my mom and dad relate to each other and how did that affect my understanding of relationships this is a very big topic this thing

14:22about mother and archetypes and what I'm doing in this presentation is giving you an overview I spend an entire weekend talking about the sort of things that we're discussing in 45 minutes but I think it's still valuable and important because

14:42in a short snap you get a huge perspective of understanding the way in which mom and dad influence your personality in this presentation it's only mum in the following presentation it will be father dad so the relationship with mother and father you need to

15:04understand two instinctual life needs we as humans have the need to connect and we have the need to be independent so we have two needs I have the need to belong and be part of something and I have the need to stand as an individual you can think of that

15:25in society you'll get some societies where you know if you're talking about a communist society then you could say it's very much all about the community it's all about people together and everything's put into one big pot and people share things

15:40theoretically and in practice that may not occur like that at all and then in a capitalist society you know democratic capitalist society then people are independent and they're self-motivated and they look out to themselves and the systems supposedly

15:59work fair and everyone's given an opportunity to create and manifest according to their abilities and theoretically there's a positive there but really humanity and people are a balance between the two we need responsibility to the group

16:16and we need responsibility to the individual if you go either way it gets out of balance it's a blending of the two it's a blending of being connected and being independent and so as a couple coming together you're looking at how did they manage that

16:35how did they manage their connection as a couple and how did they manage their own sense of self-assertion as a couple as two individuals how can I be myself and be together well from the perspective of my mother and father

16:54they got the connection right but as an independent people it really didn't work they came into the relationship with very traditional values that you know dad was the breadwinner went out there and worked and looked after the family mom stayed at home looked after the kids and mom basically did as she was told

17:17because dad was the boss and it was very much a male sort of dominated situation but my father was a very gentle man he was he was very kind he was considerate and even though he occupied that position he was a very kind considerate loving man and there wasn't a sense of

17:42dominating and bullying but nevertheless my mother was subservient to my father and it was just assumed that he was the boss and that was the case so my mother submitted her needs and her personality for the marriage

17:59and for the children and that was not a conscious thought she just did it because she believed it was the right thing to do and this is what women did they sacrificed for their families they lived for their husbands and their kids and the whole thing and they gave

18:19everything and the more they gave the better they were as people supposedly now how did my mother handle that or how do people handle it and there are four different ways that it that it gets handled if how are these two opposite needs handled most the time it doesn't get

18:40handled and so it comes into marital conflict and so the relationship becomes a power struggle and so father dominates with the money mother dominates with six maybe dad is very rational and intellectual and mother is more

18:58emotional and sensitive there's a conflict there's a power struggle there's a battle of wheels in the relationship with my parents this really didn't take place very much because both were reasonably sensitive in many ways gentle people but how it manifested in the

19:22relationship with my parents was that my mother became addicted not to alcohol but actually to prescription medication and she was always feeling sick and she had her headaches and she would go to the doctor and they would give her

19:44whatever it was in the car her nerves down and she got addicted to these powdered things called Vincent's and Bex which was coding and aspirin and she would usually take four of those a day and this would be a way on

20:06coping with the stress reliefy releasing headaches and she this was her mechanism of coping so in effect she became a prescription medication addict and so the way she dealt with the internal chaos and the unfulfilled self was to suppress the physical symptoms that

20:30occurred because the thing wasn't working and dad just worked hard and we just go out and work and work on my medical work on my medical work so he wasn't connecting and wasn't there because so he became in effect in the sense of work

20:45and Holly and Mum was a medication addict and that was the way in which they kind of survived the next thing is it's a thing called the triangulated child or identified patient which means that someone else becomes more important in the family the child

21:08takes on some of the stress of the parents and then hasn't illness or the child is so important that or the children are so important that we now have to sublimate our needs and just be there for the family and take care of them or there is an identified patient which can be a child

21:27that sick and we'll look after him or her or it could be one of the in-laws you know my wife's family or mother is ill and so we now have to be good as a family so that she can cope or we're going to look after her so we set someone up someone else up to be more important than us

21:52and because they're more important than us we can sublimate our needs in order to get through this and so this is a way relationships cope with not being fulfilled and unfortunately many of the relationships that people are in don't fulfill them and so they

22:15get caught up in this the third way is a fourth way rather is the relationship that is fulfilling and does work and it's called the empowered relationship or interdependent where mum and dad have worked out a way to be connected to feel great in the relationship with each other

22:35yet they have a sense of their own self and they're able to make their own individual lives work at the same time as being a relationship together and so this is you know how did your mother and father relate to each other and how did they cope and you will find that

23:01their patterns of relationship will play out in your relationship your intimate relationship unless you have become conscious and become aware and being able to let it go it's a big deal the next one is called the relationship to God and relationship to God is not

23:24you know a religious you know Christian or Buddhist or Muslim or living like that it's really saying how do they relate to the creative element of life how do you create relate to because when you were born you were born in your mother's womb and your mother's womb at

23:44that time represented your universe and then when you came out and you were a small baby your mother represented the world around you so how was it for her was it easy was it loving was it safe was it abundant if that's the case something will

24:05imprint in you and you'll start to find that it seems that easy loving safe abundant you pick it up from your mother the process is called resonance and resonance is the feeling state that you experience from being around your mother or was it at this time

24:25in those first few months uncertain fearful a big struggle what was it like because those patterns imprinted into body memory as soon as you become aware of them as soon as you start making a choice you can change them all of this can change all of this can be released

24:47it only has a power overview because you're not aware of its effect as soon as you become aware of the effect and the influences that are pressing down on your psyche then you can change them all of the work I do in all of the presentations in all of the courses

25:07is to support people to recognize the programming that's occurred to their awareness and in part it's to do with the biographical experience of our lives and in part it's an ancestral memory and in part it's a destiny that we've been born into

25:25but this program the awareness limits us as to what is possible and who we see ourselves to be and it limits our happiness and it limits our ability to love and feel abundant and feel successful and so a piece of this is the way in which your mother's awareness was programmed

25:50by understanding that the influences that affected her particularly in the early stages of your life are going to go a great deal towards you releasing these so the general rule about the relationship to God with regard to mother is that a disconnection from mother is a

26:13disconnection from your body if you are at a fundamental level still unresolved about a whole lot of unhappiness and pain that took place in the early stages of your life there will be a part of you that won't want to be here physically here physically in your

26:37body you won't feel good about your body you won't feel good or feel deserving about being here and being able to claim your power you may not even have recognized it may not be too maybe too far away but if you're finding that I'm just not

26:57happy in my own skin then maybe the mother and the way your mother felt about herself and the early relationship with your your mother could be an important factor in that doesn't mean that just because you're not okay in your own skin that it's

27:16definitely going to be mother but it would be one of the first things I would consider it would be one of the first things I'd be looking at why am I feeling this way where has it come from what does it mean and as soon as I get where the imprint has occurred

27:33and what it all means I can unhook it there are other ways to release it and transcend it but this is a easy straight forward way if you can work your way into it so that's the first section I want to talk about and that is mother and I've just really skipped over it

27:55very quickly and I've given you a brief synopsis and I support you to look on my website we run courses called Love and Power which is about my my dad and I also run courses about creating loving relationships and these are connected and they all have to do with

28:13the early relationships that mother and father had with each other and the way mother and father believed about themselves and father will be in the next presentation the next thing I want to talk about and it's a very big subject is called feminine archetypes

28:31and the model of archetypes that I'm going to work with is an adaptation of some work on archetypes by Carl Gustav Jung Jung was a contemporary of Freud the father of modern psychology he was actually one of his

28:50students and I believe he took psychology another step beyond where Freud made some very powerful contributions to modern psychology and then Jung took it to another level and he developed this idea of archetypes and in particular we're talking about

29:10feminine archetypes and in order to work this out he had to go to pre-Christian and non-Christian societies so he was looking at societies prior to the Romans the ancient Romans he'd be looking at also Hindu societies in India

29:31he was looking in Africa he was looking at societies in the South Pacific and he was attempting to see did there exist a commonality of understanding being to be a human what does it mean to be a human being and what does it

29:50mean to be a woman and what does it mean to be a man and he came up with these things that he found to be common throughout these societies and the first one was a maiden lover so there's a time in a woman's life

30:08usually from the age of 14 to somewhere in her 20s where she is very much beautiful and radiant and it's all about looking good and being sexy and attracting guys and unfortunately our society has locked in the feminine archetype

30:30to very much the maiden lover so if you're not always looking sexy and sexually desirable and maybe something's missing or you're not quite right and well it's just another story it's really stuck in a very immature stage in your psychological development

30:50yes it's wonderful to be charismatic it's wonderful to be attractive it's beautiful to have the attention it's great but this is only a component of the view the next stage would be the mother nurturer as time would come with the woman would meet

31:08the right man they would get together they would have family and it would go forward so you'd have a mother now nurturer so you'd go from the maiden to the mother and then over time through life experience you've become the woman

31:23and crone the word crone is a very old word but this is what the word that you're always using and it represents really women of intuitive with intuitive knowledge it's women who have a knowledge that comes from their life experience and

31:44from their intuition and so it's women's woman's knowledge and then finally it's the queen goddess it's this sense of the empowered feminine and she has come into her power and who ultimately her task is to be of service to her family

32:05to her community and to other women and she's there to be a role model to guide and to be a service to everyone and so this would be what would occur in a healthy tribe in a healthy community women would progress through those different stages

32:25and they would embody them so it was almost like a tree you would start off with the maiden lover then you would have the right the mother nurturer and then you would become the wise woman and then you would become the queen the leader and so you would actually embody

32:42all four and these would be parts of who you were but something happened a really critical historical event occurred to the English people and this took place around 54 to 47 BC and this was catastrophic from the perspective

33:05of the native peoples of Britain and at that time what took place was the Roman invasion of Britain and the Romans came and conquered Britain so to speak and initially there were three expeditions there was the first one in about

33:2954 BC it wasn't very successful it was repelled by the native tribes and then they came back again this is Julia Caesar he came back again in about 52 51 BC and fought and managed to establish a beachhead

33:48and a city, the Lindenium and then later on they came back a third time and they established and began a gradual process of completely dominating all of Britain and you can see the difference in the style of battle you know the Britons were a warrior class they're

34:13running around with their wooden shields and spears and half naked and the Romans are very much an efficient killing machine with the steel and the shields and the helmets and the breast plates and all the protection and they're organised and they're fighting

34:33in a very disciplined way and according to the historical records there was only four legions that were sent to Britain about 40,000 active troops and they managed to seduce some million or two million people over a considerable time and it's because of the superior

34:58organisation and military and so what occurred in around 50 on BC was a similar experience to when Governor Philip came to Australia in 1788 and landed there and claimed that section of Australia as a colony for England it was a decimation of the native tribes and the culture

35:25of the time and this is a similar thing that occurred a decimation of the native cultures and the people of the time and if you look at the writing of the time and a description of a Celtic woman and this is by Marcus Boryalis who was an ancient Roman historian and at a time he's looking about the Celtic

35:51tribes and the women who were there before the Roman occupation the women of the Celtic tribes are bigger and stronger than our Roman women this is most likely due to their natures as well as their peculiar fondness for all things Marshall and robust the flaxened head maidens of the north

36:12are trained in sports and war while our gentle ladies are content to do their womenly duties and thus are less powerful than most young girls from Gaul and their hinty lands so the women before you know the bringing of the civilization and the conquest of the

36:38Romans were quite a powerful group and then when you look at the status of women in Celtic society in marriage they were considered they weren't considered property or ruled by their husbands or even their fathers women couldn't be forced to marry against their will there was no

36:59great status associated with virginity in coming into a marriage no stickwell on remarriage after divorce as marriages were more of a partnership or alliance than a religious ceremony they they could even be year-long trial marriages easily dissolving

37:20when things didn't work out polygamy and even an even pollandry occurred if that was what was best for the clan polygamy means one man and several women or more than one woman or and pollandry is one woman and several men so you could have

37:40multiple marriages and that didn't matter all that matter was that it was working for the party's concerned and who the parents who the fathers of the children didn't matter all that mattered who were who the mothers but the Romans came and this was not okay

37:59this could not be allowed and so what a care it was maiden lover could only be allowed if she was put in as a concubine or a mistress to one of the ruling elite but most of the time that was discouraged at the age of 14 they started menstruating by 17 18

38:17you had to be married otherwise if you were 20 and you weren't married you were an old woman you're an old hag you're a spinster because they didn't see any value in that the Romans conquered England in order for the glory of Rome which meant more territory the

38:38resources of the ten mines and the forests and also the slaves and there was a interspatchers that still exist in the Vatican archive according to Sir Winston Churchill in his first volume of the history of the English speaking people and this general says

39:00about the English at the time or the Britons at the time they are too uncouth to be house slaves they are too weak to work in the ten mines and yet they they but they are perfectly suited for working in the fields so from the rules

39:21perspective this was like a herd of animals we were going to direct them to be working for us in the way that benefited us the most and according to their natures and their nature and so they would categorize the English as just basically peasants let's work them

39:42but you wouldn't put them in your house because they're too dirty and you couldn't put them down the ten mines because they they couldn't survive the terrible conditions but what was okay was for having as mothers and nurturers because they're breeding stock

39:57as far as wise women and Crohn's you slaughtered them there was no way you could allow women's wisdom to survive because it was a threat to the establishment so they were slaughtered they were demonized anything to do with women's intuition and wisdom

40:17was considered to be a witch it was considered to be evil it was considered to be irrational and it was something to be eliminated in whatever way you could and Queen goddess well it depended depended on whether they were prepared to align with the ruling class

40:37marry into the ruling class and then they would become part of the Roman establishment or if they decided to rebel you kill them so you couldn't have any independent leaders the leaders all had to be monopolized by the establishment so any natural leaders either

40:54joined or killed and the only thing that was left was mother nurturers so the feminine archetype was reduced that to a point where women were seemed to be just producers of children and someone took after their

41:12husbands and their families and three important characteristics occurred firstly women were seemed to be the property of their husbands and the reason why women with the property of their husbands was because the men were property of their

41:29lords and it was just passing it down the line and in the value system at the time the most important thing for a man was his house the next most important was his wife the next most important thing after that was his cow or or his horse

41:46so at least the wife was better than a cow or a horse it's in the value system but she was owned by him and she was expected to be obedient do wish you're told and she was also expected to sacrifice herself and so the enslavement of the native tribes

42:09of Britain in that early BC had a massive impact on the feminine psyche of the British people now this also occurred at different times for the Greeks for the Europeans and for many other societies but for Australia and America, English-speaking countries the English experience is significant

42:39because they are mostly culturally affected by the English experience and so the domination by the Romans the bringing of civilization was the destruction of the feminine psyche massive wounding to the feminine cycle and the feminine psyche was wounded in three ways

43:01one women became possessions of men this story of the cult of the Virgin the Virgin was all about owning the progeny so because it changed from a matriarchal society to a patriarchal society and it was all about the men the men had to control the women because in order to control the women they needed

43:24to control the babies so the inheritance would go to their progeny not someone else's and so you needed her to be a virgin so that you could guarantee that when you married her she hadn't gone to bed with someone else when she felt pregnant she felt pregnant only with your child

43:42that's the reason you did it and then you took it to the next level and made the virgin something sacred and wonderful and part of God it's all mine control it's mine control in order to keep them down and subservient and to control the whole thing it's a mechanism for

44:02slavery and control it's very very scientific and very very psychologically sophisticated and this was done I believe deliberately way back then and you're exactly what kind of good and so the cult of the Virgin and the other one is the removal

44:20of the feminine from the spirit creation but just to show you this is a Roman statue of a virgin and here she is on her knees she's offering something and she has a veil and she's pious and she's beautiful but she's subservient and she's serving someone else's needs

44:42and her own passion and vitality has been suppressed she's there for someone else not for herself and in the next image is an idealized romantic painting of a virgin you know here she is with the angels around her and she is pure and she is chased and she is

45:02beautiful again mind control and you know nature is passionate it's abundant and it's energetic and the woman and the feminine is powerful in fact the universe is feminine the third winding up the second one was the

45:25Virgin the third one is the taking out of the feminine from the holy mythology so the holy Trinity from a Christian perspective is that we have God we have God the father we have God the son and we have God the holy ghost all three are masculine

45:46and so the God the holy God thing is a masculine thing it's saying subliminally that women can not achieve the highest realms of spiritual evolution women really are a part of they are a subset of something greater which is ultimately masculine

46:08so the whole feminine has been reduced it's been made in inferior and unable to really be in its full power but again it's mind control because the true nature of creation the true nature of God if you see when I put the word God up

46:26it's not God in a traditional Christian or other sort of religious sense it is the creative intelligence that exists in life it is the essence of existence it's non human it doesn't have a physical human thing it's something else it's the field as Einstein said it's the

46:57intelligent field we live in and that God intelligent field intelligent universe is the holy Trinity is the mother the father and the child this is the holy Trinity this is the nature of existence the feminine is part of the foundation of existence it's the masculine and the

47:23feminine coming together that a third force is born that is the child it is the emotion and the intellect coming together the third force is the intuition coming together it is the in the Kundalini Hindu mythology it is the Ida which is the feminine and

47:46piggoer the masculine coming together the two parts of your spine in the Kundalini the snake and the third force shishuma the spiritual connection takes place so this feminine masculine is critical to the creation and it's critical to the empowerment of

48:05individuals to remove the feminine to demonize the feminine to make the feminine inferior is to disempower all of humanity both men and women the empowerment of the feminine isn't for the benefit just of women and it's important that women are supported it is for the

48:28benefit of all of humanity and so this this this demonization this destruction of the feminine is a deliberate mechanism for the enslavement of people to keep them disconnected and this sense of bringing the feminine back together again is significant unfortunately there's been this massive

48:53effort for a considerable time and certainly the women's movement during the 70s and the women's movement that went back to the beginning of the 20th century has really enabled the empowerment of people and so the equality of the feminine the bringing up forward of the

49:12feminine scent the feminine energy is significant when you think of feminine and masculine it's better to think of feminine is receptive and masculine is assertive so it's receptive and assertive the two elements as a man I need both I need a receptive side and an assertive side

49:36as a woman that she needs both a receptive side and an assertive side masculine and feminine in the demonizing or the enslaving of one group in society you wound everyone the way in which society is held down is by the traumatizing of the mothers because in the traumatizing of the mothers

50:08every successive generation born to those mothers will be traumatized regardless of how much she loves them sacrifices for them cares for them she can't insulate her children from her pain until she resolves it or until the children become aware and conscious

50:31so on a higher level all of this is a mechanism for the evolution of humanity on a everyday level this is a great burden to work through and so um I know it's all heavy and darader but um you know the feminine is significant

50:56and the feminine is a big deal and I hope you'll listen to the next presentation on the masculine and maybe one day you'll join me on one of my weekend workshops and we may be able to take some of these workshops online so that you get a better understanding of the

51:15way in which the separation may be still playing out in your body and it'll certainly be playing out in relationships in your health in your ability to feel it peace with yourself and to a great extent also in the way you succeed and manifest

51:33well through your life so um if you've got any questions start writing them down we will have about 10-15 minutes to answer questions just to let you know that the next webinar will be on the on Tuesday the 30th of June from 7 to 8

51:53this is about father it's how the masculine archetype was wounded by similar experiences the um the invasion and the civilization and also um you just need to register for that go to microgladermedius.com I would also like to acknowledge

52:15radion for the production marketing and web design and this tremendous amount of work that goes on behind the scenes if you ever need any support with web design and any work with this sort of stuff get in touch with radion

52:31and you'll also find his details on my website and he's fabulous even though I was getting a little bit full-on and emotional and it's not about emotional but you know full-on do remember to breathe through your nerves tick come

52:58and it all works out everything works out it's all for the greater good anyway you just got to keep processing through whatever life brings you and it's only there to empower you so this next section is questions and so I'm going to just shift

53:17from the um sharing the screen to taking over the full screen and let's answer some questions question and answer the first one is let me just adjust this screen Tara hi Michael I couldn't have kids are now 44 and feel very lost in this

53:43world sometimes not knowing my place because of it is that because I don't feed into the mother nervous stage did I just skip this stage um I go to wise woman or stay in the love of stage too long well look it could be

54:02yes um there was something about the nurture a bit that is incomplete uh exactly what it's hard to say it could be you know something did you see from your mother something where you're still playing out mother but um and you're definitely a wise woman

54:22or a Michael woman amazing person and you are a mother figure too many people so you can be a mother occupied the the nurture mother phase without actually without actually having children purely by um being someone who cares about others supporting them

54:43in their emotional development and caring for them so whether you have children or not it's not necessary in order for you to fulfill the needs of the mother and nurture and um but you can do this in other ways and definitely you are the wise woman and maybe did stay in the love of stage

55:06but we talked to do this our society has a very strong prejudice that you know you're always sexually desirable to the opposite sex and things like that there's nothing wrong in being the love of for the entire your entire life it's just an element of who you are it's not your

55:23identity and what I would see for you Tara is there Tom you're all you'll be moving towards the queen stage more than that um just the wise woman said the quickest way for you to fulfill if it feels unfulfilled that the mother

55:45nurturing phase is to go into service for the greater group to go into service for women and for men and to teach the things that you have learned through your very powerful life experience thank you for the question the basics thank you Michael for the mother

56:05women webinar my pleasure basically I talked to you another time Dan when you mentioned that our children will feel the pain we carry unless it's resolved regardless of how much we nurture sacrifice how does the pain lead them once you resolve it yourself

56:21once they have already felt it will or carried it yep that's that's a powerful look what happens is you being aware you loving and nurturing your children will have a moderating effect on the pain you carry it's not 100%

56:41duplicate it can be something like a percentage you may pass 60% or 50% of what you've got and the more conscious you are the less you pay it pass it on but how the connection occurs is mothers and children are emotionally telepathically energetically connected

57:04and so when you resolve it within yourself the burden of your pain that was sitting on them is released but that may have created an imprint and from that imprint they may have created a whole story that they have to work out in consequences but at least you have lifted off

57:27the earlier it occurs in their life the easier it is if it occurs before the age of seven it's almost like magically taken out straight away if it occurs between about seven and 20 or seven and 14 it comes off easier but it just needs a bit more focus

57:45between 14 and 21 it gets to be much more difficult and between 21 and 28 depends on the kid if they're they're listening connecting great often they've gone into rebellion and they're rejecting and that's very very hard and then there's part of the economy journey anyway so look it's not your

58:05responsibility for them to resolve it although you know from the perspective of my kids I want my kids to be able to work it out it's to do with it's their destiny to be born to you it was your destiny to be born to your mother and your destiny is both a challenge

58:28and occurs it's a cursive it's unresolved it's a challenge and ultimately it's turned into a gift when it is resolved so it's okay your experience of working it out your example of working it out will definitely make a big difference or lift it and

58:49and in part they need that burden in order to empower them to have no issues is an issue thank you and all of us how to deal with my mum never giving me compliments rather criticism she says that making me strong that makes me stronger but it hurts me internally I will never be good enough

59:10for her look that's a very tough one how do I do it look what you've got to do is you realize that your mother is just playing a pattern that occurred with her mother so I would be saying I forgive myself for feeling I'll never be good enough for my mother because my mother thinks

59:37she'll never be good enough for her mother and what your mother is doing is passing on the pain her unresolved pain of always feeling not okay for her mother onto you she is innocent she doesn't know what she's doing she is completely wrong in this to not give you compliments to not support you

60:00is really not the way it goes completely wrong and it doesn't make you stronger it actually only adds a burden and but if you can come to terms with it if you can understand it and you can forgive her for it then you can release yourself from a pattern that your mother wasn't able to release

60:22herself and in releasing your that pattern that feeling I'll never be good enough for my mother something will lighten up for her you will actually help her heal herself because if you think you're never good enough for your mother ultimately what you think is you're not good enough

60:40for yourself and that's all a fallacy and I forgive myself for thinking I'm not good enough because my mother thinks she's not good enough that's the story another one Michelle says my mother's mother abandoned her my mother abandoned us how do I look to heal this trauma and I'm worried

61:01this pattern is generational the pattern does get carried generationally it is very difficult and what you have to do is focus on the pain that you carried say your mother abandoned you and at the same time that your mother abandoned you you've got a bit

61:25recognized that she's abandoned herself so I would say something like this take a deep breath Michelle I forgive myself for abandoning myself because my mother abandoned herself I am my mother's daughter but I am not my mother and the abandonment

62:05the abandonment is to do with I just lost my track train of thought from a moment I just sort of comment come on it's like your mother the abandonment is not you feeling abandoned ultimately is not dependent on someone else's actions although at

62:27each mother it is hard and has occurred at the most significant developmental faces but if you can raise yourself high and are far enough you can be okay even if someone else is disconnecting from you it's a journey within yourself this is probably the single most difficult thing

62:48you could do Michelle if it's beyond my ability to answer a question right now but I would highly recommend you ring up and have a personal session with me and I'm sure I could take a layer of this but this is significant there are so many elements to it

63:08but you can do it it can be stopped and there is a degree where it is generational and a part of that abandonment trauma will be passed on but significantly less than what you inherited from your mother Mary and my grandmother died when mom was only six years old so she was brought

63:31up by her father and two brothers how would this affect my mother my grandmother died when my mother was only six years old so she brought my father into her her with this affect my mother we'll be to affect your mother in many many ways you could affect your mother

63:52in the sense that either the person she loved the most is gone the depends on how your father and two brothers related to her and it would also have affected your two brothers as well and it depends on how your mother resolved it I would say your mother would have

64:17had a lot of anxiety in her life and it would have made her it would be difficult for her to just feel calm and relaxed there would be very an ediness in her but again that's a big question this there's so many directions it could take depending on the personality of your

64:43mother depending on how your father and two brothers behind it depends where your mother was in the family why she'd be youngest or she'd be older depends on what work your father did there's so many variables to answering this question

64:58but it would definitely have been a burden for your mother that's Marianne okay another anonymous one what happens to the individual when the mother plays both the mother and father are how does this impact the child's

65:18yeah that's that's a that's one where what happens is how it affects how it impacts the child is it depends on how mother does it even mum is struggling with it it will create a whole struggle pattern it will most likely affect the child in it

65:41the child won't trust love it won't trust that it'll be taken care of it won't trust that it's safe to receive and there will be an underlying fear of abandonment so it will have a big impact if mums come to terms with it it's great because the feminine archetype is

66:03to nurture and support and the masculine archetype is to provide and protect so mum is having to do the providing and the protecting so she's not just teaching you how to receive she's saying that the only way you're going to be safe is if you go out there and do it for yourself

66:21all the time that's okay but the end result is you exhaust yourself because life is both a process of working for it and receiving it's giving and receiving and all you've been taught is how to give how to go out there and get it you haven't been taught how to receive

66:41so it's a big deal so the pattern that gets set up is that you work yourself to the point of exhaustion that's usually the case so you just need to do more work on it that's the last question so thanks guys thanks for the questions I really appreciate them

66:59and if you're left with a degree of anxiety or uncertainty around what I've been saying these this topic is highly activating it's very emotionally challenging if I start to talk about very deep issues then it's it doesn't take long before those issues

67:23I don't have to mention them and I'll start activating so if you finish something here and you're feeling a little anxious or upset or whatever my suggestion is go and have a a shower go and just let this shift and let go

67:38and it's okay and if you need to you can always send an email and I'll just see if I can help out but the um you just keep going for it and you can resolve it and this thing with mum has been a big deal in my life

67:58and hopefully it's not a big deal in your life and you can get to a place of things being easy and graceful so thank you for watching thank you for being part of it and the next presentation is on whenever we said

68:16and it's in two weeks from today I think the 30th of June and please tune in and catch up with you another time thank you