Love — Full webinar with Michael Adamedes

0:02Welcome. It's a blessing and a joy to be here. This is the seventh presentation in the emotional series and it's titled Love Trust and Acceptance. And in this presentation there are three parts. Part one is what is love. It's my explanation of love.

0:27Part two, loving yourself. How to build more self-esteem. And part three, we are one, how to be more loving in the world. But just before we start, I'd like to do a one minute centering exercise. This is to bring you into present time and it helps you let go of any stress.

0:51So spine straight, head erect, eyes gently closed and absolutely perfectly still. And take in a really deep breath through the nose and make a long sigh sound out through the mouth. And now take two long slow breaths in and out through your nose and bring your attention back to the screen. So over the course of more than 40 years in private practice

2:03and more than 50 years of trying to work myself out, I've discovered that there are two life lessons we all need to work out and they are love and power. It's like the feminine and masculine, the receptive and the assertive. And in this presentation, I'll be talking about love.

2:28And in the previous presentation, I talked about power. I also run weekend workshops on love and power. And if you have a chance, highly recommended. So my definition of love is granting beingness and granting beingness is allowing it to be as it is,

2:56allowing the other person to be as they are, allowing yourself to be as you are in other words acceptance. This is a definition for unconditional love. Yes, we have compassion and affection, but to love your enemies, to love your neighbors really means to accept them as they are, to have no judgment around the differences. People can be different.

3:28Can't people can have different opinions, different customs, different ideas. And that's okay. And they can be the way they are and you are the way you are. So granting beingness or acceptance is the definition of love I work with.

3:49And with acceptance, there are three parts to it. The first one is granting beingness or acceptance of yourself. And in the slide, I have a arrow coming back into the heart. And it means accepting yourself regardless of the circumstances.

4:16And being aware of circumstances where you might judge or criticize yourself, in particular around failure, mistakes, falling ill. You still have discernment. That is the ability to recognize if things are efficient or inefficient or when things need to be improved.

4:38And you're prepared to do something about it, but you're not carrying a value judgment. You're not making yourself wrong. Just because I didn't know how to do something doesn't mean I'm wrong. Yes, I may have made a mistake.

4:53Yes, something didn't work as efficiently as it should have. I need to look at what I can do to improve it and how to understand things better. But I'm not making myself wrong. If I make myself wrong, then I've got two things to deal with.

5:13Firstly, correcting the mistake, working out how to do it better. And secondly, I have this burden of guilt, shame, stress that I'm carrying, because I'm running this judgment about myself. And fundamentally, we are innocent.

5:33You are pure and innocent. The essence of you is wonderful and fabulous. And that has to be recognized and supported. My ability to do things is a function of experience and learning and a whole lot of other circumstances.

5:54But my sense of self needs to be seen as being perfect the way it is. And you just don't make yourself wrong. And self acceptance means you hold your own self-worth in the face of other people's judgments or criticism. Accepting your self means you don't hold a negative opinion about your performance, your survival, your desirability, or your worthiness.

6:31And so I'm going to ask you to repeat some affirmations. The purpose of me asking you to repeat them is so that you integrate them at a deeper level within your psyche. To hear the presentation, to hear the information is good and it comes into a certain level. To speak it takes it into even further.

6:55And if you then go out and act it, you'll fully integrate it. Now I understand you may be watching this in a public place. You could be around other people and it may not be appropriate to be saying these sort of things out loud. But if you're in a private situation and you're able to do it, then definitely do it.

7:17And if you are around other people and they may over hear what you're saying, then sub vocalise it. Just say it to yourself quietly without it being obvious that you're doing that. And so I will say it and I'll invite you to repeat it. So take a deep breath.

7:42I accept myself, even if I make a mistake and think I've failed. I accept myself, even if I feel lost and confused. I accept myself just the way I am. I accept myself in the presence of others.

8:35So self-acceptance is critical, important at a time when you're not fulfilling your expectations. When things are okay, accepting yourself is not a problem. When things are not okay, this is when you have to work on accepting yourself. Yes, I don't feel okay.

9:01Things aren't good within me for some reason. I'm under other circumstances I could be running all this self criticism. I choose not to criticise myself. I recognise something hasn't worked out.

9:16I calm myself down and then I ask myself, how can I do it differently? How can I do it better? What do I need to learn from that situation? But the acceptance of self is key to love.

9:31If I can accept myself, I'll be able to accept others. And so acceptance of self is significant. The second aspect of acceptance is the acceptance of others. And the universe life acts like a mirror.

9:54It reflects back to you both your conscious and unconscious beliefs. The universe is a holographic quantum field of possibility. I've discussed this concept in greater detail in other presentations. But basically it means that your beliefs hold a certain frequency.

10:15And that frequency of belief harmonises with similar frequencies in the field, in the quantum field. And then those frequencies are brought into physical manifestation. You manifest what you believe. In another way of saying it is beliefs move mountains.

10:39If you believe it, then you will see it. The inside of me is the outside of you. So my conscious and unconscious beliefs are being manifest in my life. And this is what's coming back to me.

10:58The majority of the beliefs I hold are unconscious. And it's matter of bringing that unconscious firstly into awareness and secondly into some sort of control. So that you're not manifesting unwanted desires.

11:17Yes, your conscious beliefs for most people are very positive. And they're the things that are keeping you going forward. But it's these unconscious beliefs that are creating this other scenario. These are the reality that you're experiencing.

11:34And the best way to understand what your unconscious beliefs are is by examining the circumstances of your life. Do you have the material abundance you desire? Do you have the health that you desire?

11:52Do you have the relationship you desire? Do you have the career that you desire? So why not? It's not because you don't want it.

12:06It's not because some part of you is actively sabotaging yourself. It is to do with a belief pattern that you've taken on somewhere from your childhood, most likely from mother or father sitting in your subconscious that says, I don't deserve it.

12:28Or it's not possible for me. Those things aren't there. They're too difficult for me to obtain. These are all patterns of belief. This is understanding what you're putting out there.

12:42So this is, in this instance, I'm talking about the beliefs that you're putting out there regarding the people in your life, regarding the people that you meet. And so it's like recognizing that I've got to stop putting out this whole judgment. And I have an exercise I do in courses in the love and power weekend that I run.

13:14So if it's appropriate and you're able to do it in the situation, you find yourself, then do this and do the hand action. And if you're unable to do the hand action, then just sub-vocalise and say this. But it's this.

13:31There's no one out there. I'm only talking. I'm only ever talking to myself. Take a deep breath.

13:45Let's do it again. There's no one out there. I'm only ever talking to myself. Take a deep breath.

13:57Now, obviously there are people out there. And the universe exists. But when I'm saying there's no one out there and I'm only talking to myself, it means that the way I interpret other people,

14:14the way I interpret those interactions, all the function of the filter of my psyche, the filter of my conscious and unconscious awareness. And if I am projecting out there anything that is not resourceful, loving and supportive, then I am carrying some pattern of limitation within myself.

14:43It's often easier to see the patterns of limitation that run your life through the ways in which you relate to others, how you talk to them, and what you behave towards them. So if I'm open and supportive or I'm open and I carry no judgment,

15:04I don't have to be supporting people, but I'm not carrying a negative belief. And I'm emotionally neutral around them. Then I don't have a pattern.

15:14It's not my stuff. I can observe people's limitations. I can observe people's issues. But that's not a problem for me.

15:23It's a problem for them, but it's not a problem for me. And I don't have to have a judgment. And I can recognize them, you know, being who they are and doing what they need to do.

15:33So to continue with this idea and to embed it further into your psyche, say this one, other people have the right to be stupid and ignorant. Take a deep breath and do this one.

15:59Other people have the right to refuse help and stay in pain. Take a deep breath. Now this may apply to some people and it won't apply to others, but in this approach as I'm presenting it,

16:24I use the machine gun approach. I just fire a whole lot of ideas and affirmations. And some will be relevant to people and others won't. But just do it anyway and it may or may not be relevant to you.

16:39Take a deep breath. I accept my mother just the way she is. The things I don't like about my parents are always things that are unresolved in me. I can recognize my mother and my father having limitations,

17:07but those limitations aren't a problem for me. And they are something they need to work through and get going. But I let go. I'm still here to support my mother if she asks for my support.

17:23I'm still happy to support my mother if she acts on my support. But I don't need to be a rescuer. I don't need to be there pushing. And the same with I accept my mother just the way she is.

17:38You can say, say this, I accept my father just the way he is. Take a deep breath. And so it's the acceptance of the people around you.

17:57And particularly people that irritate you, that you think are doing things wrong. And you don't need to be a rescuer. You don't need to go there and help unless you are asked for help.

18:18There are three conditions that need to be fulfilled in order to effectively support someone. The first one is they need to be a request. They need to ask you directly or imply through the questioning that they want to be supported. That means they've given you permission.

18:37Otherwise you're imposing on people. Yes, you want to help people, but they may not want that help. And the second thing is there has to be an energy exchange. If I'm giving someone something, I need to get something back.

18:52If they're clients, then I'm giving my time and they pay me. If it's friends and family, the fact that I love them and they love me is enough payment. That's it. That's all right. If people don't have the financial resources to pay me for the help I'm giving them,

19:13then I ask them to do something in kind. It may not necessarily come and give me their service, but they could give their service to others. But they need to...

19:25There needs to be an energy exchange. Life expects if something's going out, something has to come back. And an exchange of energy. The third thing in supporting other people is the other person has to take responsibility

19:41for their own circumstances. It's all very well giving people. They ask for help and then you give them support and there is some exchange involved. And then they don't do anything about it.

19:53So once the good of that, they need to take responsibility. I'm not here to save people. I'm here to be a coach and to support them if they're prepared to work for themselves. And so the acceptance of others is a big deal.

20:14And in loving, it's accepting people as they are without a judgment about them. The third aspect of acceptance is allowing others to accept you. It's your ability to receive love and support. And most people are able to give love, give support,

20:42but there's a massive reluctance to receive it. And there's two parts to that. There's two reasons. One is your conditioning.

20:51And that's to do with what your parents believe, how you grew up, what the people around you believed. You know, you even get different cultures. I find that people with an English background are very reticent to stand up and display their talents.

21:12Whereas people from an American US background are more able to stand up and show themselves. It's very much a cultural thing. In Australia, we're a bit of both. We're halfway between the two.

21:27And yes, I don't need to go around bragging, but if people compliment me, I don't need to say, oh, no, no, no, no, that's not. All I have to do is say, thank you. Thank you.

21:40That's all I have to do. If someone compliments you, watch your internal dialogue, watch your physicality and be aware that you're not shutting it down. And all you have to do is just say, thank you.

21:57And in doing that, you've received it. And the other bit is your identity. There are two parts to being able to receive. What is your identity?

22:09This is also part of your conditioning. But the acceptance is part of who are you. And part of it is how I've been conditioned, but part of it is still in the ego.

22:22And this ego believes that I have to do things. I have to go out there and be involved. If you get a really clear understanding of your identity, you're something more than the physical body.

22:38You're more than emotions. You're more than a mind. You have this X factor. You have this awareness, this consciousness.

22:48You could call it a spirit. And if you connect to the identity of your spirit, it's a different game. Because from the perspective of the ego,

23:00the belief is I have to do it. If I don't do it, nothing will happen. If I shift out of the limitations of ego, and suddenly I'm in flow with a universal force,

23:13a universal experience, I think that's occurring around me. And all I need to do is let go and allow that to happen. And in that process,

23:24I become a witness, a passenger. The life and the universe gives me and brings it to me. Now this is a very advanced state, but it exists in all of us.

23:37As soon as I drop the story and let go of the need to survive, magic happens. So who are you? Initially, I am this person that grew up from this family

23:54and I have to get out there and go for it. Later on, I realize I am something far greater than that. And so part of being able to receive acceptance from others is understanding that I trust life.

24:11I trust the process of life. The intent from most other people is a positive intent. And to recognize where did I disconnect from not trusting and not feeling safe in the world around me?

24:30And one of the most significant elements of trust is the trusting of love. And so if you're able to say this, then say, say it,

24:43I forgive myself for not trusting love because my mother didn't trust love. Take it a break. No fault.

25:04No blame with mother. Most mothers have done their absolute best for their children and their families. Most mothers have put their lives on the line countless times

25:16for their kids. Mums are just the meat in the sandwich, so to speak. They are the conduit by which the majority of the conditioning from past generations is passed through to the present generations.

25:33And it's mother's love that is the key that enables this past conditioning to be transferred through the fact that she did love me, the fact that she did work so hard,

25:48the fact that she did care. And I loved her and I do care for her. Means I'm open to receive. And I pick up her strengths and I pick up her limitations.

26:01And I'm saying it for mother, but dad could have father could have had the same thing, not trusting love, but it's looking at where didn't mom trust. And the most important element of her whole life is trusting love

26:18that she loved. She is worthy and that she is supported. And the same with dad, he is loved, he is trust and trusted. And he is supported.

26:31And where did that come from for them? And how has that impacted on me? But it will have an impact and effect on how I'm able to receive from the world around me, from other people,

26:45and how I can trust. People may still lack competence. People may, because of their own insecurities, be out of ethics, out of their own internal ethics

26:58and the ethics of what's going on around us. But the fact that they lack competence and they're not being ethical doesn't mean I don't trust people in humanity and the process of life.

27:12Generally, I just recognize that this particular individual has massive learning to learn, to go through. And hasn't learned it as yet. And as a consequence, I've got to be very careful

27:28about giving them tasks or trusting the truth. Trusting my financial, emotional security with them purely because they lack competence and lacks ethics. And so for them, I will discount my interaction with them.

27:49I'll discount how I surrender, give, allow them to do things because they're still having to work through their issues. So that's a difference between the fact that I'm not trusting an individual.

28:04Doesn't mean I don't trust myself, I don't trust life and I don't trust my own competency. And so trust is a big thing. And believing in myself so that I'm able to receive support

28:18and love from the people around me. And in the next section, I want to talk more about loving yourself. And with loving myself, I think of the idea that I am kind,

28:36loving and accepting of myself. I am kind, loving and patient of myself. So with loving myself, I have three keys that I recommend in order to develop more self-acceptance.

28:56The first one is an attitude of gratitude. The second one is understanding yourself. And the third one is forgiveness. And an attitude of gratitude implies that you already have

29:12that which you desire. And so like attracts like, I want to have greater abundance in my life. I will look at where I already have an abundance

29:25and say, wow, I am so grateful for the money that I have, for the wealth that I have, for the lifestyle I live, for the wonderful people in my life. I am so grateful for the amazing abundance.

29:43So like attracts like because you have a lot of people who are in the same place. Because if you ask for something, you know, I want more of this.

29:55I want more of that. There are two things happening. There is a conscious desire for more. But then there is an unconscious that is saying,

30:05I don't have enough. And so there is almost a contradiction. On a conscious level, I want it. And an unconscious level, I think I haven't got it.

30:16But if I am saying, I am so grateful for it, then it implies I have already got it. And that will attract it to me. And there are four positives from gratitude.

30:31One, it is your ability to celebrate the present. It makes you feel happy. The second one is it neutralizes negative emotion. It lets go of envy, jealousy, resentment.

30:44I am not looking at others and thinking they have more or I have missed out. The third one is you become more stressed resilient. You know, because you are happier and you are feeling more positive, you are not affected by trauma, stress, adversity.

31:01People are less likely to go into depression or anxiety. And the fourth thing is it strengthens social ties. People like you. You like them because you are positive to be around.

31:15And you feel greater self-worth. Aditchude a gratitude, absolute big one. The next one is understanding yourself. Now understanding yourself means, you know, where did you grow up?

31:30What are the things that influenced your development? You know, what was it like with mum and dad? If you start to get an understanding of where you came from and what you were subjected to as you were growing up,

31:43you will feel kinded towards yourself. You will become a more a kinder, more sympathetic person because your sense of strength and self-judgment disappears. A simple way of doing this is to look at photos of yourself

32:02before the age of seven. In this slide, I've got two photos of me, one at six months and the other one at five years. And when I look at myself at six months and five years,

32:16of course, I'm purer in innocent. There's this, you know, spirit and beauty that lies there. As an adult looking in the mirror, I may not recognize that about myself, looking back at my child's self.

32:32Certainly it says, hang on a minute. This person was born into this world with all these remarkable abilities and this purer self, this pure being. And through, you know, the circumstances that we were born into,

32:50this is the pressure I've experienced. And so your destiny that you were born into isn't the destiny that you're meant to live your life with and end your life. In other words, your starting point does not dictate your endpoint.

33:15So learn to love the child part of you. Learn to appreciate that you are doing the best, you know, how. That's helping to better understand yourself. The next one is the third key to having more love for yourself is forgiveness.

33:40And that's letting go of the desire to get even, letting go of resentment and upset from circumstances in your life. The purpose of forgiveness is to free yourself. So with forgiveness, there's three parts I forgive you for what you may have done to me.

34:00Forgive me for what I may have done to you and I forgive myself for not being the person I think I could have been. Forgiveness. And so really work on forgiving and letting go of the things around you. In the next section, I want to talk about the idea that we are all one.

34:23And here's a quote from Albert Einstein, probably the most famous scientist of the 20th century. And he says, everything is energy and that's all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can't help but get that reality. It can be no other way.

34:49This is not philosophy. This is physics. So from a physicist mathematician Albert Einstein, a winner of Nobel Prize, the man who got, you know, E equals MC squared.

35:07This whole thing about relativity. One of the most famous scientists of the 20th century, he's saying, you've got to match your frequencies. Match your frequencies is the way you feel, the way you think.

35:21If you hold the way you think and feel, then you're going to bring it about. The way I interpret the quote is, we have a choice. Do we live in a world of separation, scarcity and fear? Do we live in a world of one humanity, cooperation and respect for all of existence?

35:43And to manifest the world we want, we must choose. We must act. It's an act that we've got to, we've got to make a choice and do it. It's not a matter of just sitting there and letting it happen.

35:59If you sit there and let it happen, two things will happen. Most likely you're unconscious that you're not aware of will just get, have you continue on what you've already got. Or you will start to live the intent and consciousness of other people and what they want for you, not what you want for you.

36:20So you must make a choice. Being here in a human body, in a human existence, is, if primary purpose, is to advance your consciousness, to have you grow as a conscious being, a conscious creator. You need to make a choice and to choose the next highest level of your understanding awareness.

36:46And so start by forgiving everyone in your life that you feel upset with. Send love, positive thoughts, light, visualisation, whatever works for you to the people you dislike or want to avoid. You're trying to put positive out there. If you hold a negative feeling state towards someone, it sets up a negative circuit.

37:16And it continues to keep you in this negativity. Either be neutral or be positive. Do not be negative towards other people. And if you have negativity towards other people, work out why it's there and let it go. And it's usually the people you're most close to, your neighbours, ex-lubbers, ex-business partners, people that you've worked with.

37:46People that you may see in the media, politicians, bankers, political commentators. We are controlled by our fear and anger. We need to neutralise our fear and anger. So this world that we live in is not full of fear and anger.

38:06And we move past that. For things to change, first I must change. And I want to give you another quote before we do a visualisation together. And this other quote is from John Lennon.

38:26And this is the second and third versus from John Lennon's song, Imagine. He was shot dead in New York on the 8th of December 19, 80. He raised someone who was channeling some very powerful high energy down to all of us. And this song that became world best hit and his classic and it will continue for, I believe, hundreds of years,

38:56is this. And he says, imagine there is no country. It isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say, I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

39:18I hope someday you'll join us and the world will be as one. So, you know, to create this world as one, we have to dream it. We have to imagine it. We have to visualise it.

39:38We have to desire it. We have to hold a higher level of awareness than presently exists for the majority of people. This is a choice in doing that something frees in me, something frees in you, something becomes easier. Yes, the world is one. If we choose it to be, the world can be split up into many separate groups and it can be falling apart.

40:11If we allow it to play out its collective pain and anger, now is the time for it to stop. Now is the time we change it and we change it by changing ourselves, by changing the way we think about people, how we relate to them, and how we think about ourselves. It's the change within me that's going to create the change out there.

40:39I want to do in this last section of visualisation and I call it Michael's meta-visualisation. There's nothing new in the world. We call things new if they're new for me or you. But these things have been done many, many times.

40:59Visualisation is a synthesis of two techniques. One is the Buddhist meta-meditation of loving kindness. The other one is the Christian St. Francis of Assisi, prayer for peace and oneness. This prayer, St. Francis of Assisi, prayer for peace and oneness, I'm going to upload the PDF to my website.

41:24If you want a copy of it, you can just download it. I'm not a Christian, but I do believe in Christian values. I'm not a Buddhist, but I do believe in Buddhist values. These two, this meditation and this prayer, which I'm now calling a visualisation, is very, very powerful.

41:47It holds a universal truth. Let's prepare for it. It'll only take about six or seven minutes. And take in a deep breath, in through the nose and out through your nose.

42:11Spine straight, head erect, eyes gently closed. And take your awareness to the surface you're sitting on. Feel your body making contact with that surface. Take your awareness to the base of your spine.

42:43And imagine that from the base of the spine, there is a thick orange root coming out of your spine. And this orange root goes straight down through the floor and spreads out down and into the ground beneath you, travelling more than 60 metres deep into the earth. And up through this orange root system comes a luminescent orange light.

43:17This is Mother Earth energy, taking a deep breath through the nose. And this orange light travels up through your spine and into your heart. And meanwhile, out in deep space past the edge of the solar system, there is a luminescent blue light travelling faster than light and heading to earth.

43:54It comes down through the earth's atmosphere, down through the roof of the building and through the top of your head. This is Father Spirit energy. Take a deep breath. This blue light comes down through the top of your head, through your face and through your throat and into your heart. It joins the orange light that's coming up from the ground beneath you.

44:30Both the blue, Father Spirit energy and the orange Mother Earth energy combined in your heart to form a luminescent pale yellow light. And this yellow light is sent from your heart to every single cell in your body. From the top of your head to the tips of your toes, this yellow light fills your body and passes through the pores of your skin and surrounds the area around you. This yellow light continues to pour out of your heart, filling your body and the area around you.

45:21Now open your eyes and look at the screen in front of you. And from your heart to the image of planet earth, direct your yellow heart energy to planet earth and fill the earth with a luminescent pale yellow light. and the breath and say where there is suffering may there be joy, where there is conflict, may there be peace, where there is illness, may there be health, where there is persecution, may there be justice, where there is poverty, may there be abundance. Fill your heart sending light to planet earth and say I choose not to be understood as to understand. I seek not to be loved as to love for it is in giving that I receive.

47:48Light is in forgiving that I am forgiven. Feel your heart and say may all beings be happy and free. Take a deep breath and return your attention back to the room. The visualization is complete. So in summary, there were three parts. What is love and the key there is I accept myself just the way I am. for loving yourself three parts. An attitude of gratitude, understanding where you have come from and who you are and forgiving for giving yourself and others.

48:59The third part was we are one and that is I choose to open my heart to a peaceful unified world. Thank you for watching, I am blessing an agility wall and I would like to thank Brady on Sokolov for marketing, production and web design and Aaron McFarland for camera, sound, lights and post production. And remember, breathe through your nose. The next webinar will be the first presentation in the physical series. It is titled manifestation in harmony with the material world. It is three weeks away on Tuesday the 23rd of March from 7 to 8 pm Australian Eastern Daylight Time.

50:06And if you think someone would benefit from these presentations, you are welcome to invite them to watch. You can join the members group for 5 US$ a month, a month and watch all the past presentations and future presentations. Go to the website to register for the next presentation and if you want to join the members group, just go there to join. Over the next few months I will be adding more services and information to the members group. Such as meditations, handouts and illustrations from the slide.

50:42I will be uploading tonight's visualization to the members group as an MP3 file and if you remember you will be able to download that MP3 file to use as a visualization for your meditating. Also we have just added a members forum to answer questions and help with life issues. So if you remember you can post questions. I can't give psychological counselling through the forum but I can answer general questions about life problems. Also other members of the forum can offer their advice.

51:20Tomorrow's tonight's presentation will be uploaded to the website by tomorrow evening. So thank you for watching and let's go to questions.