Forgiveness — Full webinar with Michael Adamedes

0:00I welcome everyone. Thank you for joining me. This is the seventh presentation in the psychological series and in this presentation there are two parts. Part one is psychological completion. Part two is forgiveness and there will be time at the end of the presentation for questions. So do remember to record your questions so that I can answer them at the end. Also, if you want to

0:28watch any of my previous presentations go to the website, Michaeladermeads.com and they will be available to watch. But just before we commence just a little bit of housekeeping make sure you've turned off your phones, have a notebook and a pen handy, if you're a glass of order, if you need it and we're going for about an hour including question time. So please give me your

0:56attention. But just before I start we will do a 60 minute, 60 seconds, centering exercise so if you need to go and get anything now's your chance. So let's just do that centering. So spine straight, header it, eyes gently closed, just letting go of the tension from today and being able to be here in present time. So perfectly still eyes gently closed and take your awareness to the sounds around you.

1:46Sounds outside of the room, traffic other people, sounds of nature and then return your attention to the sounds in the room. Sound of air conditioning, if you have it, sound of people, sound of my voice and take in two long slow breaths through the nose. We'll bring it in and exhaling it in your own time and pulling it in and exhaling and letting go of all

3:20attention and return your attention to the screen. And so welcome and the first part is psychological completion and psychological completion is an important step in maintaining and achieving emotional and mental will be because most of us are carrying a lot of incompletions and they've come from our childhood. We've had experiences that may have occurred at school or without parents

4:03or siblings where they were upset or we missed out on something. And so some of those things naturally resolve just through life and moving on and time helps to heal some of those. But a lot remain unresolved and they're pushed down and they come up when we interact with other people or when we're doing something that is extremely important if we're moving house changing jobs,

4:36going into a new relationship, looking to expand the business, all these things can start to bring those parts, those things within us that are still unresolved. And in particular, now we think around self-worth, a feeling of safety and also feeling that I'm connected and I belong. But not only do we have these incompletions from our own experience, from our own life, but also

5:10we have these incompletions from our parents and we can often inherit the unresolved pain of your mother or your father, unfulfilled ambitions and even as far back as your grandparents and your great so we carry this ancestral memory and most of it is resourceful and a great deal in the unresolved pieces have been resolved and completed but there are still certain things that can get carried through

5:47and by having a systematic approach and looking at where they come from, it enables us to release the experience and the emotion that's attached to it and also to be here in present time and to be more empowered and resourceful and able to do what we need to do and just be here now and that's one of the reasons why we can't be in this moment, why we unable to be present is because of

6:20these incompletions from the past. The other thing about the psychological completion thing is to see it as your destiny and not to give it a value judgment and think of it as good or bad or pull me, I've ended up in a situation that's really difficult and in comparison to others, my situation is extreme and it's unfair and all this you've got to drop it, you just have to

6:49recognize that the things that you've bought into the destiny that you've given your karma in other words, are just the circumstances of your life and the best way to deal with it is to look at it as dispassionately as possible and just work your way through it and it's not good, it's not bad, it just is certain things are resourceful, certain other things are unresourcedful but the thing is

7:20our destiny presents us with a challenge and the rule around challenge is a challenge made becomes a gift because in meeting that challenge it requires a transformation, it requires growth understanding, a personal empowerment so by coming to terms with the challenge I've improved myself and so from that perspective the challenge has been a gift but the challenge I've resolved over time

7:52we can use ourselves as steam, we lose our physical vitality and sometimes we end up alone so a challenge when faced is an empowerment a gift a challenge unresolved is something that eventually will kill us and so completing things psychologically understanding the process in which the psychological completion occurs gives us more tools to look at what's occurred in our life and how to move forward

8:34now completion psychological completion has five stages and the first one is denial then it's emotional understanding forgiveness and gratitude and I will deal with each one of those in more detail but forgiveness is so important that I'll actually put it into part two and given it a complete section on its own and we all spend a lot more time talking about forgiveness

9:08but starting on these stages of completion the first one is denial and denial is you can't in on a wear of what's occurring about 80% of people are in denial regarding their life circumstances and part of that is the way in which we are conditioned we're taught that our upsets and our limitations and the things that are occurring are all external to us and if we change the things

9:39out there then our life will improve sometimes that works but most of the time it doesn't and what needs to occur is to recognize that the limitations and the upsets ultimately are to do with some internal programming the way I grew up and the way I saw the world and how I fit into the world and what I think about myself and how can I come to terms with that and see that in a different

10:11with a different light and have a different perspective on it and be able to move beyond it so denial is a big thing because most people think well I've got nothing to deal with if you know I'm all right but the relationship may not be working the health is suffering they're not happy in their job they don't have the finances that they want and yet you know it's got nothing to do with me it's

10:37totally to do with the circumstances I find myself in but if I want to change that situation then I need to look within I need to look at how I'm responding and how I've been programmed around those various issues but most people don't think that way they think well if I won the long tree everything would be better or if the right person turned up in my life suddenly I would find love but

11:06why what is it about me who do I have to become in order for those things to front up in my life for most people denial is a big thing they don't see it they don't understand it the second stage is emotional and this is one of the main reasons why people stay in denial not only because this is what we're taught but also come out of denial doesn't necessarily mean you feel better

11:39you can sometimes feel far worse it's like having a garbage bin and you've put all the garbage in the bin and now you have a lid on that bin and everything seems to be okay because it's contained now what you're being asked to do is take the lid off the bin and empty the garbage bin and wash it out but that could be a messy affair and so I'd rather avoid the mess and so I'll keep it in the bin

12:09now if it's one of those old metal garbage bins it's only a matter of time to that go until like garbage rots the bin and suddenly we have a problem you know rotting the bin is another way of saying it has a physical effect on our body and our body starts to break down in some way because we have all this unresolved immersion we have all this unresolved issue that sits there and nothing

12:35to do with us being bad or wrong or that we are to blame in anyway but it's the destiny we were born into and we need to come to terms with it and so in dealing with the emotional side there are three types or three categories of emotion the first one is fear and fear goes from a mild anxiety to a panic attack the next one is anger feeling irritated all the way out to a rage and smashing and

13:07breaking things and the third one is grief and grief is from a sense of sadness or melancholy all the way through to a serious depression and just feeling really really sad and a lot when the sadness becomes so great we actually switch off from the sadness and so we no longer feel sad we just depressed energetically depressed emotionally depressed psychologically depressed and so but it

13:44fundamentally that depression is a symptom of the deep alumnus and it's linked to grief and we can look at the three emotional categories as fear and grief all fag fajg and so we need to be aware one or several or some of those categories or all three categories can be a bit of effect at a different time so looking at okay how is this fear how is this anger how is this grief and sometimes

14:22the emotion can be quite subtle it can be as simple as feeling a little bit bloated or a little bit of tension somewhere in the chest or it can be as simple as that it doesn't have to be a major emotional expression so the next level in psychological completion is understanding it's really coming to see what this experience means and why how is this experience affected me and why is

14:57there and so this three parts to understand firstly how has that early childhood experience affected me or how has my mother or father's pain been transferred to me and what is the consequence of that transference how's it affecting me the other one is how is this other person affected by if it was in my childhood and I have an issue with my father and I felt that at one period of time

15:30he was too aggressive and too forceful and I'm feeling very vulnerable and hurt from that experience I need to also understand why did he behave that way and what did that represent for him he was trying just surviving a particular situation he didn't fully understand the consequences of his actions he was just responding in the way automatically without thinking because that was the way he was

16:02conditioned and probably treated by his father when he was brought whatever the story is that we hold a lot but in the understanding of the other person's part in my experience it certainly helps to release any attachment that I have to that experience and it helps me understand why I'm affected that way and also it helps me let it go the third piece is the higher purpose you know why is this

16:33happening why did these circumstances take place and why am I caught up in those circumstances because ultimately my belief is that the destiny that you are born into the life experiences that you are born into the parents that you have and the society and the culture that you are born into in the long run is your best chance at finding enlightenment personal freedom it's your best chance

17:09in becoming wise and powerful so even though you may at one point have been put into difficult circumstances those difficult circumstances if addressed and you've come to terms with will empower you and enable you to free yourself from something that may have existed in your ancestral line for many generations so the understanding of it is a big deal the situation from my life

17:42was that one of my greatest challenges has been my birth and at the time of my birth I was a force of stability and I was stuck in the birth canal and the doctors came and pulled me out with pair of in effect pliers you know these mental instruments and it was horrific it was painful and I believe I was traumatized from the experience but from my perspective it was a traumatic painful

18:13unnecessary experience because prior to giving birth to me my mother had given birth to another and she was experienced in giving birth but this was her first child in Australia and she had come from a little island in Greece and then they had to escape the Germans during the Second World War and came to Gaza in present day Israel where my refugees escaped the Germans and she

18:46gave birth to a child there very successfully but unfortunately due to the lack of food that child died from malnutrition and so she didn't have another child till she came to Australia but the way she was taught to give birth was at the time at the point of contraction that she would scream and let out a whole lot of emotion and that would enable her to let go of whatever pain she was

19:14feeling and also to open more so that baby could come down but in the hospital we're in Sydney where I was born she was told by the doctor Mrs Adam Eddies we don't do that here you know please be quiet you're upsetting the other women and so my mother had to be quiet and shut down but she also felt put down and misunderstood and having no one support her and so then the births it

19:49came stuck I wasn't moving or coming down and she was locked in all this pain so they gave her an anesthetic into the spine called an epidural in order to anneathatise that lower half of her body and in doing that I got stuck in the birth canal that was like instead of this these muscles working with me to help me come out I was now stuck in this you know mountain of

20:20lard so to speak and I couldn't get out and almost like drowning and then that's as why they needed to come and pull me out so my belief was that their intervention in an attempt to help my mother actually created the problem that they needed to then find the solution for which was quite horrific for me because I came out very bruised and damaged and couldn't see my mother for 24

20:49hours so not only was it a difficult painful birth but I also didn't bond with my mother so there were so many complications and for me there was this massive rage towards the doctors and towards my mother for being you know evicted into this experience and because of the terrible pain I had suffered and then later on as I started to figure this out and tried to look at why was

21:17this happened to me and what's going on and even then my mother did her absolute best and the doctors from their perspective did their best as well because there was good will on their part trying to help my mother even if they didn't understand her and she didn't understand them and they were genuinely trying to help her nevertheless this was a difficult situation and so

21:44the thing that helped me actually released this issue was understanding the higher purpose why why did this happen what was the destiny that I was being born into and in understanding that I realized that I didn't want to be born I didn't want to excuse me for that we have a a fire alarm system and it's just been playing up at the moment but we I didn't want to be born

22:16I didn't want to come into this life because from my own you know spirits self I realized that being born into this world was a difficult and painful experience and part of me didn't want to come out I didn't want to be born here I didn't want to come here I was told I had to come here and I had to make the best of it and I fought at the consequences of fighting it was I got

22:47stuck in the birth canal and yes these other circumstances about my mother not screaming and the doctors putting the epidural into her spine complicated but if I really wanted to I still could have come through inspired those things and the recognition was a part of me didn't want to be here and in recognizing that a massive healing took place for me and recognizing that the journey

23:17was to make this life this place this time and in some place a place where I find love enjoyed and safety and that has been the journey that I have been working with for quite some time and I think you know gradually it's all coming into play it's a caring so the higher purpose was a big deal there was a matter of understanding you know why did this whole game get set up but before I

23:50could go there I had to recognize that part of me that felt victimized by that experience and how it had affected me and also why the other people behaved the way they behaved in that situation so that was a process that helped me unlock a significant incompletion in my life that had blocked me for a considerable time and the understanding of it the next stage also with

24:24the completion just to further explain it there are five stages denial does come first if people are able to get beyond that but the emotional and then the understanding stage can actually change in order you can sometimes have the understanding come first and you get a recognition and understanding of something and through that understanding there's an emotional letting go or you

24:48can have the emotional letting go and then that's followed with the understanding so either of those two can those two stages can change in the order in which you experience it and but the next one forgiveness comes in that order it does come as part four you fully can't forgive unless you have released the emotion or the energy behind it and I'm going to now just talk about the forgiveness

25:21since stage two in part two of this presentation so forgiveness in order to explain forgiveness I want to define some terms to explain some terms so the first term I'd like to explain is why forgive why do we forgive what is the reason for forgiving you know and but the some people say I forgive in order to let go I forgive in order to let that other person

26:07off the hook so to speak I forgive possibly to be able to move it on the definition or the reason that I use for forgiving why we forgive is to free myself so it's really important to understand that the significant benefit that comes from forgiveness is a freeing of yourself you are the one who most benefits from forgiveness now I can forgive someone but in the process of forgiving them

26:43I don't have to agree with what occurred what may have occurred was unjust was unconscious was the manipulation and it was something that was completely unresourced and as a consequence it may require some retribution you may need to go and take them to court and or you may need to say or do but in the forgiving the purpose of forgiving is to let go of any of emotional attachment and in

27:17the letting go of that emotional attachment it frees me from being emotionally bound to that experience you hear these tragic stories of people having gone through horrific situations you know in more situations people have had terrible things happen without betraying in relationships or betraying in business or something and they say I can never forgive that person I'll never forget

27:47I don't have to forget but I do need to forgive and I'll explain this more as we go so the reason we forgive is to free ourselves the definition of forgiveness so what is forgiveness and the definition that I work with is giving up the desire for revenge it's giving up the desire to get even to pay back because they've hurt me and I want to hurt them they've given me five units of

28:23pain then they deserve five units of pain back that may be the case but it's not my job to give them the five units of pain my belief is that life the universe is in harmony and in balance even though the world is not in harmony and balance and it seems quite erotic the way people are behaving but the overall energy of the universe and the rules that govern us and the laws of physics

28:57and the way in which life operates is in harmony even if people within that are not in harmony and so my belief is that the universe will find a way to pay them back if they have stepped out of line it's not my business to do that my business is to take care of myself and not to make myself a victim to circumstances and repeat what may have been a learning experience so the whole reason for the

29:33definition of forgiveness is to give up the desire for revenge to give up the need to pay back and the definition of revenge so what is revenge now you'll think of revenge in the most extreme form of you know doing an injury to someone they did something to me I'm going to do something back to them or you know they stole from me and then I want them to pay the equivalent

30:03back or they go and experience a prison term or whatever the story is but if you understand revenge and this is a very conscious definition of revenge and the definition of revenge that I work with is punishing another by poisoning myself so in the desire to punish someone what I'm actually doing is changing my biochemistry I'm going from feeling happy and okay to feeling

30:39a little bit less happy and at times angry or sad and what I've done in changing my biochemistry is that I put a load on my physiology and it's a process of aging it's a process of making my body more toxic and so my desire for revenge is actually poisoning myself because most of the time I'm not going to have anything to do with that other person they may not even be aware of my

31:16negative thoughts but my negative thoughts are changing my physiology and they are wearing me down so I do not need to be engaged in any way with that other person if they're doing something that wasn't okay then I may need to take action but I take action with emotional detachment without me carrying an emotional load I've got to be able to let it go the most common form of revenge

31:49again we're thinking you know they've done something bad to me I'm going to do something to them but the most common form of revenge is withdrawing my love so what I'm doing is I'm shutting down I'm set of being in the state of harmony and feeling okay I think about them and suddenly I shut down and I don't feel okay and instead of being positive I've become negative and so the withdrawing of my

32:18love is ultimately a wounding to me and so I'm trying to punish them by having nothing to do with them by thinking negative thoughts about them and the effect is it has a greater effect on me than it does on them because most of the time they don't even know that's occurring so you can only be in one or two states you're either on or off you're on you're connected off you're disconnected

32:49you're accepting or you're rejecting you're in love or you're in fear and so the only state that ultimately works is to be turned on switched on feeling connected accepted loving this is the state it needs to become our normal every day 24 seven state now I can be in that state and still say no to someone I can be in that state and still take legal action against something but I'm doing that to

33:24preserve my self or a situation or up hold the set of values that I have but I don't have to demonize that person and think they're terrible and they're horrible and they're having a go at me and I'm under attack they can do whatever they need to do it's their issue and it's their consequence but it doesn't have to be my problem I can just say no to it do what's necessary and move on most

33:54the time I don't have to do anything all I have to do is be detached and if they're being rude I don't have to feel insulted it takes two someone is being rude and it's my sensitivity that says I'm being insulted their rudeness can be their ignorance so why is their ignorance a problem for me and if they're being rude to me invariably you're going to be rude to many other people as well

34:25and they're going to set up a situation that's going to create problems and complications for them so why is that a problem for me move on we're drawing my love and the definition of love what is love and my definition of love is granting being this granting being this means accepting what is allowing it to be the way it is now by acceptance I'm not saying I've become a victim and that I

35:04can't stand up and say no to something it just means I'm not carrying an emotional load around it so it's the acceptance of the situation understanding this is the nature of the beast it's a wild beast the way I deal with that beast is to avoid it or the way I deal with that beast is to have a big stick and keep it at bay or the way I deal with that beast is put it in a cage and move on but

35:35my what I have to do is not think wow because that's a beast and it does these terrible things that somehow it's a terrible person or a terrible being or whatever and that I'm under attack and I'm under threat and it means that if they're doing that to me I have no value I have no support and no one wants me I don't need to go into all that story all I need to say is this is the nature

36:01of the animal this is the nature of the beast it's unconscious it's coming on with all its nonsense I don't need to be at its effect I accept it for what it is I step away and I don't allow it to emotionally get to me that is the granting of being that is unconditional love that is where you can turn the other cheek you turn the other cheek in that you don't allow yourself to be

36:30emotionally affected by it but turn the other cheek doesn't need you are powerless you may still choose to take that person to court or do something but I'm not emotionally caught up in the game there these are the basic definitions of forgiveness so forgiveness is a big step forgiveness is the step in releasing and forgiveness comes in there are three types of forgiveness and the first one is

37:05someone saying I forgive you and so three types of or three stages of forgiveness that is they think they are doing it to me you are doing something to me so this is the part of you that feels a victim to circumstances and so from that mum you didn't understand me dad you were too aggressive the people you know my previous partner she did a whole lot of stuff that you know I felt was unfair

37:37whatever the story is and then I'm thinking they did it to me that part of me feels victimized it's a matter of what we call honoring the victim so it's recognizing that a part of me even though eventually one day I should be beyond that still feels caught up in that so I'm caught up in that I still have an emotional response and I have to work through that emotional response until I'm

38:05able to resolve it and that's through feeling the fear and girl grief and by coming to understand the effect of it and how I'm made why was the other person behaving that way and what was the greater purpose in me having this experience in doing that it enables me to move on the second stage of forgiveness is I forgive me for what I've done to you this is the aggressive

38:29side you know you've done something to me I'm doing something back to you now most people what they do to others is they shut them out of their lives they ignore them they're a non-entity they'll never talk to them again or if they talk about them they always talk about them in a negative way and they encourage other people to think negatively towards that other person

38:50but that's a very aggressive behavior you know if you were coming to granting being this you would just ignore it and move on and make and say whatever they want but I don't have to say anything about it so the third stage is I forgive myself and what I realize is that fundamentally I'm doing all of this myself I am the creator of this situation and so this is stage we work through

39:20I can understand intellectually that I create and set up these these patterns and somehow my doing but emotionally I'm angry I'm furious I can remember when I first started working in this field many years ago I was taught to forgive my mother and I thought yes that's a great idea yes I will forgive my mother but I don't feel like I'm angry with her and she was just to weak helpless

39:52ignorant whatever my judgment was at the time and I couldn't forgive her even though I thought I'd should because there was still some part of me that felt victimized by those circumstances and I hadn't dealt with my emotional issues from those circumstances and I hadn't fully understood the dynamic of those circumstances but in dealing with the emotional issues and coming to understand the

40:22the dynamic of that situation it let go it's clear now my memory and my thought of my mother is that she's an amazing beautiful sensitive person you know she was just this amazing woman who did the best she could and she found herself overwhelmed by circumstances but within those circumstances she really loved her children and she was loyal to her family and she did the best she could

40:51so it changed from me being initially evicted to it to then being aggressive and angry to it to realizing hey what a minute this was all part of a life experience that my mother paid a piece in but it was all a journey that I'm involved in in order for me to transcend and move on and become something more and become something bigger so forgive this is big deal the final step in the

41:25completion process is gratitude and gratitude there's a number of points that I want to talk about well firstly with gratitude it's a recognition that the journey that I'm being through has been necessary for my evolution and because I have come to terms with the immersion because I have understood the situation and I've learned from that situation and I've been

41:54powered by that situation then obviously I'm going to be grateful yes it was difficult do I want to repeat it absolutely not did I hate it when I was in the middle of it absolutely if I could get out of it I would have gotten out of it but it was one of those things that you're in it you kind of caught up in the experience of life and the best you can do is hang on and try and figure it out

42:21and so but some of the points with gratitude is that an understanding that everything that's happened to me has been necessary for my growth I could not be this person if I hadn't gone through all those relationships and made all those mistakes and gone through all that unhappiness and difficulty the price I pay for my wisdom and my power is the very pain that I have to go through my pain

42:52is the price I'm paying and I want to learn from that pain and not repeat that pain so that I can just keep moving on the next thing is the family that I was born into has given me the best chance for setting myself free so it's recognizing that my destiny has difficult as it may seem is really what I need because the way the universe sets about is you're born into a straight jacket of experience

43:26there is no way you're gonna break the straps on that straight jacket the way you're going to get out of the straight jacket is by shape shifting and shape shifting means that you change who you are and this straight jacket no longer fits and it just drops on but the circumstances are necessary for you and they're not random they've occurred for very much the reason that it's

43:59gonna push you into your greatest winding the universe doesn't make mistakes nor does the punish or reward this is just what is happening and you need to accept it as such and not make it wrong the unlike attracts like you know fear attracts fear anger attracts anger and who do I have to be in order to have the life that I want if I want an abundant life how do I need to be in order for that

44:32to occur so the universe in effect a feedback mechanism giving your feedback as to your actions and it also it has a resonance it's like a frequency and so you're resonating at the frequency that is equal to you and you attract people to resonate at that frequency so gratitude is a big deal and we've gratitude the anxiety dissolves away a way of explaining gratitude is also a story

45:07and imagine you know I'm I'm a cow and I'm in a paddock with all these other cows and the other cows have cars and the the munching on the card and everyone's okay but not me I I have this thorn stuck in my side and I just can't settle down and I'm looking at the other cows and their calves and they're all having happy lives and they're getting on with their jobs and they're paying off

45:43their mortgages and doing everything they go but not me I'm lost and bleeding and wandering around and making a whole of a noise in the fuss and finally I can't stand it any longer and then I go and I jump over the fence and I go wandering for years lost in the forest and then one day I come to this pool and I look at the pool and surprise I'm not a cow anymore I've become this magnificent

46:12being and that thorn that had been stuck to my side that was causing me so much pain is now gone and this journey of pain and transformation and loss that I've had to go through has actually transformed me into something else meanwhile back at the farm the farm has rounded up the cows put them on the back of the truck and taken them to the appetite and so these things that I've

46:44been born into these destiny this destiny that I've been born into that may seem to be very problematic if I come to terms with it if I look at the emotions that it brings up without making myself wrong or anyone else wrong and just deal with them I've had sadness I have anger why am I so angry why do I feel so sad why am I anxious about these things what does it mean in me where does it come

47:12from in me where do I get stuck in it and there are layers of it if I come to terms with this something let's go and understanding can occur I can understand it and not come to terms with the emotion of the energetic so that then it won't release it is possible to release the emotion and the energetics without an understanding you can move forward to forgiveness as long as you

47:39have come to terms with the emotion or the energetics the energetics could be something is simple you know I've been I was thinking about something and I could feel all this anxiety from a situation in the past and instead of it being a dramatic emotional experience it could be as simple as a Russian energy through my body and it's gone it's released the more open I am the more

48:05connected I am the easier it is for this emotion to release the more armadai am the more defended I am the more I'm trying to protect my ego the harder the whole thing is in the greater the battle this so the more I look at this without judging myself or the situation or the other people and recognize that is part of destiny that I was born into the easier it is for me to let it go

48:32and the destiny for all of us ultimately is to be free of all this nonsense and hopefully free of this nonsense in this lifetime and not have to come back and play the game all over again so the process of completion is a major step in letting go of this destiny we will want into so my wish for everyone is to move on and be a piece with yourself

49:04so that's the end of my presentation the next webinar will be on the Tuesday the 4th of August it's three weeks away because this was the last presentation in the psychological series this was number seven we're having three weeks and we will most likely be presenting these presentations in a different format we'll pre-record parts of them and have a pre-recording play it'll be

49:37played on Tuesday the 4th of August and it's called who are you beyond the mind and body part one sounds a spiritual series very metaphysical and it's my favorite area of presentations and if you want to watch this presentation again or recommend it to someone else you can go to the website Michael at themeds.com and you'll see this presentation on the website we're going to keep

50:12the last seven presentations up on the website for the next three weeks so you've got three weeks look at this one or any of the others if you wish to tune in to the spiritual series you need to register at Michael at themeds.com so make sure you do that before Tuesday the 4th of August and I hope you'll join me with that also I'd like to thank Radion Sokolov for production marketing and

50:48web design Radion's behind the scenes doing a lot of this presentation work and to remind you to breathe through your nose breathing through your nose is more healthy it filters it humidifies the air and it also slows it coming in and out of your body so it enters the body and it goes out of the body in a much more balanced way it also slows down the metabolism and balances the left and right hemisphere

51:26is at the brain but more importantly breathing through your nose brings you to present time and here we are right in this moment and it's the best place to be so I'm just going to spend about 10 15 minutes answering questions so if you have any questions please write them down and I will find them and start up to answer them for you so I'll just stop sharing the screen come back to you

52:09and here we are let me just get out of this yes so the questions here we go let me just so Kara said in order to forgive you have to let go of emotion however the definition of forgiveness is giving up the desire for revenge I feel I've given up the desire for revenge however I certainly don't feel I let go of the emotion it holds on me I feel I really struggle with

52:45the emotional side of the completion I also find it very hard to understand the fact that everyone chooses their situation and their family that they're born into especially the poor children who are experiencing abuse few questions but giving up the desire for revenge is really saying yes there's a whole great event of revenge on one level it is wanting to do something over to hurt

53:17the other person on another level it's less over and it's more I want to withdraw and have nothing to do with that person or I've closed my heart down to that person so in that sense you can say it's me pushing them away but if you haven't let go of the emotion then it's a question of then sitting and examining yourself and asking yourself well what is the emotion that I'm feeling

53:46put it into one of three categories and just deal with the part of that emotion that's coming to the surface of this moment because there could be a whole lot of emotion there could be yes there could be fear and then there could be well firstly there could be anger that you're experiencing and then underneath that would be the grief and then underneath that would appear

54:06but at the moment the anger may be there now you're not directing your anger in anyone but you still feel angry at that situation and so then I would be asking myself okay which emotion is it it happens to be anger then I would say where is it in my body I'm feeling it in my soul on then I would ask myself when did I first experience this anger in my soul on flexus and then I

54:33would sit back and just close my eyes and focus in on it and I would say when did I experience it and it may be sometime in my childhood and here I am six years of age and I'm feeling angry why am I feeling angry and I would be just talking to myself and looking at myself and feeling myself at that age and asking why is this happening to the six-year-old part of me what does it

55:02represent why do I need to understand from that and it's a journey and sometimes you may need to connect to that child part of you several times before it actually lets go but if you persevere it will then the last part of your question is I find it very hard to understand the fact that everyone chooses the situation the fact and the poor children who are experiencing abuse

55:31that's a very philosophical question in order to understand that you've really got to understand who are you why are you where are we coming from what's going on and in a sense firstly we don't choose if we say you know we've chosen this life that's just a general convenient way of talking some people choose to come back here some people choose a particular circumstance and parents

56:00but for many people they just told they're assigned something greater than them says this is your next step you're given this curriculum you're given this this place you have to come into plan it earth you're gonna be born to these parents and that's what it is and so you are put into these circumstances sometimes you'll put into these circumstances because they represent

56:24a victim element of what had occurred in a previous time in a previous time you may have been an abuser so this time around you come in as victim to experience what abuse it feels like when someone's doing that to you in order to give you a balance in what's taking place the other thing is when children are put into these circumstances often there's no choice to that they've just

56:57been put into those circumstances so there may be a common reason but from the perspective of spirit the physical is a transit treatment from spirit there is no time and space to fact that someone has come into this life and spent 60 or 80 years in misery in the big scheme of things have been here for literally millions of years and this is one body and you're burning out of body

57:27there is no sense of loss or punishment it's from an ego perspective it's the most horrific thing out from a spirit perspective this soul and this soul group have needed this particular experience for some reason but my belief is it's all happening for the greater good although people can be put into terrible, tragic, very painful situations that all I can do is think about myself

58:06and if I keep transferring, transforming myself and then those circumstances don't show up in my life anymore and ultimately from my own perspective and that's all I can have a talk about I have to keep lifting my frequency letting go of the attachment because regardless of how someone else behaves out there if I don't attach to it and I don't try and fight it emotionally

58:37and I can just move beyond it that won't hit me it won't affect me the universe's life is like a spectrum of emotions or a spectrum of consciousness from a place where it's destitute and it's painful and it's difficult and it's completely unfair and people are being taken advantage of to where people are in heaven and these amazing fabulous opportunities and they live in this

59:11glorious way and so it's a complete spectrum that exists simultaneously on planet earth and my the best thing I can do to help everyone is to keep moving my frequency and the more I lift my frequency the more I lift the overall frequency for everyone and support everyone to lift this it's through resonance the more people who are free the more people who are affluent the more people

59:40who feel secure the easier it is for others to find that and that's all we can do and so we work on the journey we find in ourselves and there is a huge amount of injustice and there's a tremendous amount of pain and all I can do is work on when it comes to me if I find I have a person that comes to me or a situation comes to me then it's up to me to deal with it but for those people out there

60:11it's their journey the next light is you said the universe is constantly providing feedback can you elaborate on this yes you know well you know I think it's the third law of thermodynamics or whatever every action has an equal and opposite reaction so that's from a physical physics perspective but from an emotional psychological perspective if I wanted to get slapped in the face the

60:43best way to get slapped in the face is go and give someone a slap in the face so what I'm doing to someone else will come back to me if I am caught up with you know telling lies then I'm going to find them surrounded by not surrounded but I'll have a lot of people around who are telling me lies the universe is a mechanism by which if you do resourceful things resourceful things will happen to

61:14now what people tell us is resourceful is one thing but what is actually resourceful is how you feel it you have to feel it I'm either people saying this particular food is good for you okay let's try it if you eat it and you feel it's it's good for you and you feel it's okay if you they say something's good and you eat it and you don't feel it's good well it's not good so the feedback

61:44mechanism ultimately is sensitizing yourself to your own inner emotional and psychological state but if you are with people who are very you know much into trying to make as much money as they can at the expense of others then you're going to find they're going to have a whole lot of consequences but it's a fundamental principle that every action has an equal and opposite reaction and even though

62:16it may seem that some people get away with it ultimately it catches up to me the next question the Dalai Lama said anger is the poison you take when you want the other to die how instead can you become more alarming well that's true what the Dalai Lama says is it's a Buddhist quote you know I'm punishing another by poisoning myself how instead can you become

62:46more loving well it's a choice you make a choice I want to become more love I want to understand why I'm feeling angry I want to understand why this person is affecting me that way where do I feel my anger when did I feel in that anger how is that part of me still affected by that you know anger ultimately if you come to understand it and I'll be talking about this in another

63:11workshop another presentation quite a while back but anger is always in the attempt to reempower myself so if you're carrying unresolved anger it's because you feel you've been attacked you've been disempowered you haven't been recognized somehow you have lost the sense of yourself and so by coming to understand where does that anger come from and what does it leave I can let it go

63:40so you know how can you become more loving because you become more loving as soon as you let go of the things that stop you from loving it's not a matter I need to be more loving it's just I need to not be angry and not need to be not sad or not upset thanks for the question Hi Michael been a while since I've enjoyed your beautiful wisdom love the forgiveness section

64:06I totally I look for giving myself thank you for the beautiful reminder I'm looking forward to putting this in process yes definitely you've got to forgive yourself you know it's like I'm innocent even though I'm stuck in it and I've set the game up I'm innocent anonymous when making decisions should you always uphold your set of values or is this a selfish way of living look you have to

64:35work from your values if your values are personally integrity then obviously you've got to stay in personal integrity you know you have to uphold your values but you can't use your values like a weapon you know like truth can be a value and I'm always going to tell the truth and if someone doesn't tell the truth and then somehow they're not okay or I have to tell the truth in every

65:03single circumstance well it's really the essence of it I'm telling the truth in order to maintain my integrity I'm speaking the truth in order to maintain harmony but sometimes in speaking the truth I may be giving away a confidence sometimes in speaking the truth I may be unconsciously trying to undermine someone so in those instances I can be silent I'm going to have to say anything but

65:35as a general rule of holding your values is definitely in a way to go but there can be exceptions to that can you help pull another out of anger to help them on their forgiveness journey you really can't help pull someone else out of anger or you can do is demonstrate that you've released yourself from anger and you can explain what you've done and you can invite them to do something about it

66:07but it's like you know you take water to a horse but you can't make a drink you can suggest something but you have to let it go and sometimes you may be presenting something to someone that's a step beyond where they find themselves and so you're not trying to teach algebra to you know or say first year university calculus to someone who's in primary school and so it's and then I think they're not

66:40okay because they're not doing it I could introduce the subject to them I could I could explain how it's benefited me and that's as far as I can go it's up to them to decide whether they want to go do or not the book power versus forced by David Hawkins this another question is interesting in explaining energy levels and emotions and the effect elevating energy has on the world absolutely

67:12the book you know by David Hawkins power versus force highly recommended to everyone to read is one of the seminal basic understandings of how energy and consciousness works and David Hawkins has done some fundamental work in mapping the layers and levels of consciousness but basically one of the things is that the way which transformation occurs the way in which we evolve

67:44is through resonance resonance frequencies and the way in which your mother's pain is transferred to you is through the resonance of your mother to you it's a resonant frequency and so power versus force by Dr David Hawkins is certainly a great book to read and give you a more detailed explanation on it and the last question how like attracts like when I'm having genuine

68:15interest intentions and the other party responds aggressively then I doubt myself what did I do wrong how does like attract like when I'm I have genuine intentions and the other persons responds aggressively look at some or complicated than just your behavior you see you're having genuine intentions up if we we're talking about a relationship with another person and your intention is

68:43the connection and you're attempting to connect to them and so you've got genuine intentions and their responses to reject you or to be aggressive towards you but where the liker occurs is somewhere within you sits a belief in that I'm alone and I'm unloved and you are now trying to make a connection with someone else who thinks they're alone and unloved and something in your

69:13actions towards them is being misconstrued or it's activating a fear in them around intimacy so like is still attracting like but it's not to do with your external behavior it's to do with the feeling that you have about yourself which you may not even be aware of at that time and the feeling is that I'm alone and I want to be loved or no one loves me and you're trying

69:43to make a connection with someone who doesn't want a connection so why even try and make a connection you can be kind to them you can be open-hearted to them but but you don't need to make the connection if they're not interested if you have an overture towards them and they say no to you well that's okay that's the end of it see you later thank you very much there's plenty of fish in the sea if

70:07I fought this particular person it'll be someone else there is no scarcity in relationships there is no lack of partners the only lack is in my belief about myself and believing that someone would find me attractive or want me but so it's all about not believing in self in someone yeah thank you to the question we're done thank you all thanks for listening and being part of it and hope to see you

70:40all not see but connect again in three weeks time and if you want to watch this presentation again you can go on the website MichaelAtherMeddies.com and this webinar will be posted up from 7pm tomorrow thank you thank you everyone