People communicate in different ways. There are three main types, Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic. Visual and Auditory tend to more intellectual while Kinaesthetic are more emotional. The important thing is to know that people store information differently in their brains and think differently.
Also people have different values and priorities, some- thing I find important may be considered as trivial by my partner. Usually because they are not emotionally attached to it as I am. For example when discussing with my wife the purchase of a new computer, as long as it fits within our budget, she couldn’t care less which computer I buy. While it is very important to me.
Another thing to consider when communicating is, are we on the same wavelength? Do we mean the same thing when we share ideas. It is important to ask questions to understand what is really meant.
Some questions to discuss:
- What does love mean to you? What does love look like, feel like and sound like to you?
- After being away from each other during the day, how do you like to be greeted when first you meet?
- Tone of voice – how does it affect you?
- How do you want to be treated when you are upset?
- Ask “What do you need?” and say “What I need is…”
- Are you sometimes scared to tell me something, why, and what can we do about it?