Communication for Couples
• A problem cannot exist between two people unless they are both
contributing to it.
• You are responsible for your own upset and for your own happiness.
• Use “I” statements when talking about emotionally charged situations. For
example: “I think you don’t understand what I mean” rather than “You never
• It’s hard to hear the other person’s perspective when you are upset.
Better to arrange to talk when you have both calmed down.
• Stick to the subject being discussed don’t bring up other unresolved issues,
you lessen the chance for resolution by expanding the problem. Talk about
any unresolved issues at another time.
• Not communicating because you think it will upset the other person may
create more hurt in the long run. Do it now, face it and resolve it.
• Sometimes just forgetting about the upset and acting normally can allow
you both to calm down and move on from the situation.
• All people have an emotional limit, be careful you don’t exhaust your
partner with your fears and doubts.
• My partner can’t help me if I don’t know what I want.
• Accept your partner as they are.
• Celebrate the differences in your partners habits and outlook – recognise it
as complementing you and adding to the richness of your life.
• Be a friend, not a therapist.
• Be aware of your tone of voice. Be gentle. Tone of voice communicates
more than the actual words.
• Find more ways of having fun together.
• Be kind. All people are emotionally sensitive.